Molly Crabapple dead at 31

Molly Crabapple died in her apartment late Sunday night, apparently from extreme exhaustion
Molly Crabapple died in her apartment late Sunday night, apparently from extreme exhaustion

NEW YORK – Fans mourn the loss of artist Molly Crabapple, born Jennifer Caban, who was found dead in her Wall Street apartment Monday morning next to an emptied bottle of Balvenie whisky. Over the past year, Crabapple increasingly tweeted about overworking herself and even wrote an editorial suggesting that her puritan work ethic was the key to success for any artist.

Crabapple’s art and writing were quickly sought out and employed by Murdoch-owned Vice magazine, CNN, and Fox News after her high profile arrest at Occupy Wall Street propelled her fanciful, sexy reportage of the protest movement to an international stage. Among the vanguard of American activists, Crabapple’s name has become synonymous with selling out and shilling for the man, but her work has converted thousands of apathetic horny goth teen boys into more progressive thinking goths.

Crabapple Incorporated and its yearly profits estimated in excess of $10 million have been handed over to the Caban family to disburse as they see fit.

17 replies on “Molly Crabapple dead at 31”

lolingMFAO while (relistening) to the old phone call between you and Barrett … ya hatefag you need to do a more honest job of lying, hehe. You should do a radio show and talk about the day you (& fishfag) trolled bb on that call.

Rumour has it she faked her death and traveled to Istanbul with a false passport and never left her friend’s flat since 3 weeks in Kadikoy. I live across the street, they keep ordering excessive amounts of pizza.

‘If Barrett is freed and is as much of a dissapointment as weev was we ragequit.’
-Tweeted from a capital A anonymous account
Pretty sure we saw a tweet too about his execution date stayed until March 6.

Prediction: If Brown receives time served the sp00ks will give him a hotshot (OD) within 6 months. He’s probably better off doing more time.

ps- After seeing the full sentence, time (63 mons) plus restitution, etc he’ll technically serve a life sentence in ‘the community’, if he doesn’t OD in the first year of his release.
People like him reap what they sow. Frankly I’ll save my sympathy for those journalists targeted during the 2013 DoJ investigation of reporters at AP & John Rosen at Fox and leakers like Shamai Leibowitz, Thomas Drake, John Kiriakou, & Manning.

no justice no pees. we will be friendz 4 a long time me tings. u and the ugly nazi chick gonna havva lotta fun till barrettbrown vomits on the streets of lichterfelde.

This is very sad. Molly was a true nigger lover in every sense of the word. Myself and all my money grubbing, rip-off artist jew dawg friends will miss her. A true loss for the jew dawg, nigger loving and nigger communities.

PS…I did meet miss Crabapple once and she allowed me to chew on one of her used tampons.

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