Neil DeGrasse Tyson calls for unrest in Ferguson

FERGUSON — Neil DeGrasse Tyson bravely marched with protesters in Ferguson last night, inspiring millions of atheists on Reddit and drawing their secular, but moral, recognition of injustice taking place not only in Ferguson, but in black communities everywhere. Tyson’s cosmic and scientific point of view, revered and followed by millions of rational atheists everywhere, has generally only crossed into the territory of social consciousness or activism when touching on topics such as global warming or the proper classification of planets.

However, Tyson broke his silence on the militarized crackdown on the poverty-ridden community dominated by middle-class whites in Ferguson, saying, “The universe provides us with no natural moral system, but statistics and science shows that what’s happening in Ferguson is not only unfair, but truly evil. Whatever controversy there is about Mike Brown committing robbery is irrelevant. The autopsy shows Mike Brown was shot to death with his hands up, corroborating the eyewitness accounts. The statistics of wealth distribution, political power, and the nearly all-white police force convinced me to take to the streets last night.” Tyson lifted his shirt, showing several welts from rubber bullets, and added, “I am very skeptical of the call for a return to so-called ‘peace’ or ‘normalcy’ from religious leaders who joined me in the march. Are they just not aware of the science that shows the general unrest is a result of poverty and racism? Do they really want to go back to that, and call it peace? What the people need is more unrest until these problems are corrected!”