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Four black guys walk into a bar.
And rob the place.
———————–
A bartender
Okay, seriously. Four black guys walk into a bar, and two of them are gay, and two of them are women [making them irrelevant; may as well have not been there]. And sadly none of them are attracted to me. So they drink their beers and I hand them a bill. One of the guys looks down at his bill, back up at me – and sneering, he looks down at the bill again. He finally said, “Is that all you’re charging me to sit here and look at your beautiful ass all night?”
Dumbfounded and slightly flattered, I took the ticket back from him, and gave him five bucks. Said, “Keep the change,” bought him his drinks, and asked him to never, ever, come back in here again, because this ain’t no gay bar.
“This is the Boy Scouts of America,” I told him, “And we only serve STRAIGHTS.”
The Boy Scouts of America is a hetersosexual affair and do not endorse this anti-gay message.
I won the Red Badge of Courage, for not crying as they made me bleed.
Borrowing a classic move from The Internet Chronicle, the U.S. State Department is funding an initiative dubbed “Viral Peace,” which aims to “troll” online extremists out of positions of respect and power.
Led by Shahed Amanullah, Viral Peace uses “logic, humor, satire, [and] religious arguments, not just to confront [extremists], but to undermine and demoralize them.”
Expert extremist troll Kilgore Trout was reached for comment.
These extremists, they’re all the same. They get up on their soapbox and say whatever it takes to get people over on their side, and the shit they say, it’s as stupid as it gets. In any zone where they can be challenged, they MUST be challenged, not because they are right or wrong, but because they are DUMB.
Insiders at the State Department revealed that this entire project was inspired by Kilgore Trout’s trolling of AnonNews.com, a site where dumbass 12-year-olds explained their own twisted, absurd and uninformed meanings for Anarchy and Anonymous.
Trout is recognized as the world’s leading expert in this field, and is currently seeking a high-paying job advising Viral Peace on proven strategies.