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Witnesses: Mitt Romney Masturbates on Hotel Balcony

This photo allegedly shows a nude Mitt Romney engaged in public masturbation.

SPRINGFIELD, CONN. – At 9:00 a.m., passersby in a quiet Connecticut town say they expressed horror and shock at the sight on a hotel balcony of a masturbating middle-aged man,  a man whom they claim to have been been front-runner for the Republican Party presidential nod, Mitt Romney. The cellphone photos they took, which have since ignited a social media firestorm, appear to show the former Massachusetts governor expose himself, “masturbating for all to see.” The balcony height of downtown Springfield’s Marriott  exposed Mr. Romney’s public sex act, they say, to a crowd including children as young as five.

At time of press, there is a poverty of coverage from networks due to the explicit nature of the evidence, and the gravity of the consequences for the Romney campaign. Democratic strategist James Carville today compared the mainstream media’s silence up to this point to the gulf of time between the National Enquirer’s breaking of the John Edwards affair and its widespread entry into public discourse. “It’s just denial,” said Mr. Carville, a former senior campaign adviser to President Bill Clinton.

The Springfield District Attorney’s Office says the presumptive Republican nominee has not been charged with a crime. Mr. Romney reportedly fled the balcony immediately after he was spotted, and no solid video evidence has yet surfaced. However, one witness did capture a blurry photograph which shows the candidate before he turned to re-enter a room.

Analysts suggest this is the end to Romney’s campaign, and Newt Gingrich will likely take the place as front runner after Romney suspends his campaign. Representatives from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, Mr. Romney’s religious denomination, released statements to the press saying they are “appalled by the bigotry” of commenters, whose “partisan desperation,” they say, has contributed to an animus to smear the candidate, 65. The release says the church is “dismayed” by crass insinuations “any morning ‘open-air’ masturbation ritual” is a “normal part of Mormon culture.”

35 replies on “Witnesses: Mitt Romney Masturbates on Hotel Balcony”

I am single, willing and obedient for our Heavenly Father. Plus I just love a guy in a pair of Magick Mormon underwear.

Get in line you ewhore. Besides you haven’t true suffered until you been made to have a forced abortion for His Heavenly Father Donald J. Trump.

So our choices are a theocratic nutjob, a public masturbator, and a talking head weather balloon. Grand Old Party indeed…

Libs/Liars/progressives/Digressors/Socialists/Dworkinites/Sodomites/Commies/Satanists/Dems have NO morals, so will say or do Anything to Try to damage Any Republican!
They are simply Petrified of Mitt!!

Thank you Jean. the Liberal / Socialist / Terrorist / Nazi / Carpet-bagger / Muslim / Atheist / Democrat / Hebrew / Fascist / Hippie / Negro / Stalinist / Northerner / Marxist / Mexican / French / Satanists / Unionists / College-Graduate / Catholic / Foreigner / UnAmerican / Progressive / Chinese / Redcoat / Freedom-hating / Homosexual / Communists are destroying the America you and I love!

Disgusting? Oh come on, don’t tell me you guys don’t fap and do even kinkier things than just doing it on a balcony. Speak of pot calling the kettle black.

Uh, there’s no such thing as Springfield, MA. I’m calling BS if the reporter can’t even get a state right…

Twelve Secret Service agents accompanying Barack Obama during his trip to Colombia have been relieved of duty and sent home following the revelation of their possible involvement in prostitution.
The Associated Press received an #ANONYMOUS tip that the misconduct involved prostitutes in Cartagena, Colombia, the site of the Summit of the Americas. A Secret Service spokesman would neither confirm nor deny the allegation.
http://m.apnews.com/ap/db_268773/contentdetail.htm?contentguid=zT0cKrK3

If you really believe this, then you have an I.Q. of 5. You do realize that the town of Springfield, CT, where this is supposed to have taken place – does not exist. And you do realize the man is around Secret Service 24 hours a day. Also this site has an .su domain, but the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics actually dissolved in 1991. Are You People fucking retarded?

thank you mr.hunt, for exposing this socialist dirt campaign. We need professional investigators like you to protect us, the ordinary people, against such disgusting lies. is there no authority to review and approves publications on the Internet? i suspect kilgoar trout is not even the real name of the autor. please mr. hunt, continue to investigate and inform us the honest and god fearing Americans.

RON PAUL 2012….. He won’t go to war, he’s AMERICAN BORN WITH A BIRTH CERTIFICATE TO PROVE IT, AND HE DOESN’T EMBARRASS THE COUNTRY BY DOING THIS!!! RON PAUL 2012

so is this true? if it was i think someone from chronicle.su would be down below with their mouth open. they’ve all com sucking fags

ric veda loves you

john teeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

If the guy wants to jack off thats his business. People ought not to be looking into other peoples hotel/motel room. People! Mind your own damned business. If i wanna jack off in my car i will.

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