FACEBOOK — A secret FISA court hearing within the Deep State found President Trump innocent on all charges, Thursday. The judge, whose name has been expunged from all records, ordered Deep State officials to investigate and bring sedition charges against the Biden administration for having framed President Trump and stolen the election.
Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador, secret service neurotechnologist, was present at the hearing. “What I’m about to leak will get my security clearance pulled, or it might get me killed,” he said, “But this is too important to hide from We, The People any longer.”
“I have been transferring both President Biden and Trump from body to body. They are effectively immortal. False aging is applied to the clones, for now, but only so that nobody will notice.”
“Now that the neuralinks have taken hold, Donald Trump’s ready to be transferred into a newer, younger clone body. He’s going to take the mask off, once and for all. No more of these melting Biden-like clones. We’ve perfected the technology we use for his hair, and applied it to the rest of him.” Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador smiled, “In reality, we all know Trump is in control. He’s behind COVID, behind the wall that was supposed to keep illegals out but only brought more in. And it’s not because he’s better than anyone else, it’s because he’s more evil. He does evil right. And now we’ve made him into an immortal, and he can never die.”
The news of a new semi-human race of immortal billionaires in control of the highest levels of government shocked families across America. “I don’t think it’s Christian. And what’s more, I wish the Deep State would’ve been the one to arrest him, not let him off the hook,” Lucy Strawmin told reporters. “But I’ll take what I can get at this point. Trump’s the only leader we got, so I’m stickin’ with him this November.”