A million people refuse to pump gas on April 15th

…And the other 310 million people don’t even care, because boycotting gasoline for a single day is like trying not to take a shit for a day. You’ll just do it tomorrow.

“But, by boycotting gas on April 15th, we’re sending the big oil companies a message!”

Demand isn’t affected if you still use the same amount of gas as usual. Through what warped version of reality is that even considered a boycott? Sure, if any group of people refused to use gasoline for a day, that would reduce demand, because they’ve reduced their consumption habits. But simply changing the timing of your purchase is not a boycott at all.

The faux-boycott’s only logical source is the oil companies themselves. This April 15th “boycott” was set up as a publicity trick by oil companies. It is well known that when the weather turns nicer, demand for gas goes down. People can ride their bikes to work and enjoy it. On top of that, people who do drive are getting better mileage because they aren’t using heat or air conditioning. Right now, oil prices have reached a peak. The faux-boycott gives the people who are angriest about the high prices an outlet to vent their frustrations and feel self-righteous without hurting the oil companies. When the prices inevitably fall, the people who participated in the “boycott” will feel justified, as if it was actually their own actions that caused the fall in price.

The oil companies are rich enough to afford social engineers that keep the human herd content with their prices. This faux-boycott has been employed many times and will probably resurface many more. In fact, even Anonymous is trig enough to use it on Sony. Since attacking PSN causes Anonymous to lose all support, they’ve turned to the same strategy of the oil companies. Hilariously, their “boycott” of Sony will occur on April 16th, the day after the biggest gas “boycott” in history. Since no one really cares about Sony, only a few thousand people are participating in this secondary faux-boycott.

Anonymous, you are my very personal army

Two weeks ago, I published my own “dox” on pastebin. Every time I make a comment or post an article, someone links to these “dox.” It gets funnier every time. Someone out there must think the “dox” are so embarrassing and discrediting. Well, the joke’s on you, Anonymous. You’re doing exactly what I want you to. You’re my personal army.

The e-mail is real, and I want the whole world to see it. The OKCupid is real too, but I dressed it up just for you before I posted it. Gave it the embarrassing feel of a real “doxing.” Everyone fell for it, too.

Thing is, some hacker publishing just one of my e-mails doesn’t make any sense at all. Anons really must not care to be analytical about anything and this is proof. Anyone who looked at the “dox” with even the slightest amount of critical thought would have seen instantly that it could have been posted by only one person. That’s me!

I really don’t give a shit what you think about my personal life. I couldn’t care less. You have no context to judge, and your childish name-calling has never once bothered me. Once again, you’ve done exactly what I wanted. I made Anonymous rabidly publicize a personal letter because the girl I wrote it to was a complete bitch to me. Now the whole world knows my side of the story, and it is all thanks to you.

Congratulations, Anonymous! You are my very personal army! Send me pizzas, I’m hungry. Send me strippers, I’m lonely. Give me a prank call, I want to hear from you. Send me boxes, I know who could use them. Hack my computer to pieces and find out how great I am. Deface this very article, it is backed up where you can never touch it. DDoS the Chronicle for as long as you want and give us more publicity. These are all things I want!

Whoever holds the keys to hate holds the keys to Anonymous, for it is all Anon knows. I am trollface, watch me grin. When will you find a way to take the lulz from me? Never, for I am your king!

San Francisco poetry slam

Hey guys, I just thought I’d let you know that I really appreciate all your readings. To those of you in the San Francisco Bay area who printed out articles to read at the poetry slam Saturday: thank you.

Your efforts may go largely unnoticed, but they are unrewarding.

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The Chronicle Goes To Washington

The Chronicle Goes To Washington, D.C.Washington, D.C.–Five members of the chronicle.SU staff encountered a white Muslim man praying to the East Monday, in the middle of Pennsylvania Avenue, directly in front of the White House. Before him sat a pile of bags and at exactly 5:30 p.m., he stood mechanically from prayer and began fumbling with them. The cops watched him intensively and gathered vehicles around the area, as well as establishing police lines.

Spray-paint on the back of his jacket explained his belief that Allah is the only true God.

Federal police in a four-wheel drive vehicle arrived on the scene and were given sealed orders in orange and white plastic baggies by one in a group of bike cops. They appeared immediately out of nowhere with one red box and gathered around the driver side window to exchange orders.

The very next thing to happen was the appearance of Tyler Bass, chronicle.SU journalist and Washington insider. He warned the men to get away from the scene, and subsequently led them into something not all that much different.

Chronicle.SU is banned from the website AnonNews after being gradually purged from their system. This website is so hated, it is not even allowed on the AnonNews hate wall. Even though there is a place specifically reserved for the most hated external sources on the internet, Chronicle.SU is so hated by their moderators that AnonNews even took it down from there.

This is relevant. Chronicle.SU considers that move a win for the cause in general, and applauds AnonNews for its predictable FOX News style censorship, imposing ignorance on its readership, and anyone interested in the democratic sharing of knowledge and information.

Chronicle.SU was then accused by their readership of being Backtrace Security, and even the government. Then, were accused by the moralfags as being a psyche-out operation by the government (as if the NSA would really send agents into a public forum and go “booga-booga-booga!” to boast their strength.)

The six men discussed this, walking diagonally away from the White House and into the city.

“I think that’s how lies propagate,” one of them said, ducking suddenly into a hidden bar: The Royal Palace is a strip joint with no cover charge and cheap drinks; but, there is something of a catch.

After a couple of drinks, an angry dancer came by and insisted they tip the next dancer (or get out, judging by the look on her Mongolian hate face.) It seemed something had gone terribly wrong for her. All at once she’d gone from a small-breasted seductress to totally repressive and frizzy-haired, silently asking onlookers for tips, one by one, with the shake of a hand. She looked tired and angry.

“This is what it feels like to vote,” Old Brutus said, offering up an empty left-handed handshake to the woman. She slithered nastily and hissed about tips, as AnonNews flashed through his memory – How it feels to be voted for, only to see your articles deleted by some zit-faced overlord during his microcosm conspiracy theory of actual real-world politics. How pointless voting can be; to shake an empty hand; like the U.S. Government, AnonNews ignores the majority to pass along the agenda of a privileged minority.

After some bad vibrations, we felt very unwelcome and it became apparent that it was time to leave.

The six editors, writers, musicians and artists jiggled drunkenly down a gray, windy road and into a blues bar. Bouncers at the door said one of them couldn’t come in, because he had no ID. They said, “Good luck finding somebody to serve that guy! Everybody cards in this town.” Three members of the group went inside. Tyler Bass, Kilgore Trout and Old Brutus went next door to a coffee shop that also served drinks.

The waitress there, Taylor, was drunk; and wanted nothing from Trout but his dick.

They were finally safe, finally seriously drunk, when Anonymous came back up in discussion. Bass couldn’t believe the Chronicle’s influence on the dwindling moralfag community. He said their age and visibility explains the splintering of their small group and the Chronicle was right for making note of the factors at work, even calling out the United States Government, who he said had been at this subversion game since the Sixties.

“Behind every action is an emotion,” Trout said, “and the response by AnonNews to delete our material is one of fear, and determination to ultimately disallow their readership access to dissenting facts and articles.”

Chronicle.SU is the only Internet news source with connections to the top, in coordination with Wikileaks and government access nodes using only the finest in journalistic practices. Siding on civility and honor, staff writers seek out truth via phone interviews, contact with government – and religious – officials, even military personnel on behind-the-scenes behavior and protocol, we deliver truth, free of charge, at no cost to anyone.

The Anonymous News “Network” is run by one guy, claiming to be V from the movie V For Vendetta, or the poster boy MoralFag because he wants to be that guy from the movie.

Sources say it wouldn’t be a fool’s wager to believe the owner of AnonNews isn’t behind this new website, which simultaneously runs advertisements and asks for donations. It’s actually worse than AnonNews, though, because all the [propagandist] material is produced by one pathetic guy.

His advertising revenue comes from those “invest in the gold market” scams and large corporations like Pledge.

Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations Act (RICO) filed a lawsuit against S.C. Johnson & Son, the parent-company of Pledge cleaner, for filing fraudulent tax documents and withholding millions of tax dollars from the federal government. Pledge said “fuck the people,” and exploited tax loopholes, and now props up Anonymous who they know will do that for them.

Why sell Pledge here, at Anonymous News “Network?” To make bombs? No. You can’t make bombs with Pledge. Pledge appears as a search term because Google Ads pick up on Anonymous ideology and matches the volatile cleansing agents with the whitewash fascism of Anonymous.

“V,” like AnonNews, is clearly connected to the government, or some kind of corporate copy-pasting of blogger voices to make cents at a time from 2,000 Google Ad boxes on duplicated platforms across every message and medium available to a multi-tasking god of machinery, the NSA Supercomputer – while simultaneously deteriorating what little integrity is left of Moralfag Anonymous.

Anonymous News Network is the first of its kind – a cog in the automatic money machine, leeching off the main pulsating cable of cash into and out of Google. While begging.

Symbols, propaganda, meme theory, and Nova

Jeff Alvarez collects himself and speaks. “I mobilized the group to protest your house by getting them to react to you. I called your writing misinformation and psychological warfare. I made them hate you. I flung personal insults at you and got a laugh out of them. I made them love me. The idea to protest your house spontaneously generated after that, with me as leader, although I did not lead.”

“The violence came from somewhere else though,” I explain, “because it seemed to infect all the mask wearing Anons simultaneously. The idea that Anonymous is so vulnerable to a purely violent meme is not surprising though. All this propaganda lately, it really has that tone of pure hatred.”

The countryside peels away into suburbia and apartment complexes begin to glom into what is called NoVa, slang for Northern Virginia. Me and Jeff really start to tease apart what a meme is and how it works. When a set of individuals have the same source for information and generally similar backgrounds, they build similair thought patterns. The consequence is that they often make the same conclusions at the same time. Sometimes it takes a little coercion and sometimes it doesn’t. Coercion comes in the form of symbols and propaganda. Symbols like the hammer and sickle, the empty suit, or the Guy Fawkes mask simplify ideas and speed their transmission. The Guy Fawkes mask is really more than a symbol though, it is an identifier. Wearing it makes a person a part of a group. It makes a person feel socially accepted, an emotion that is endlessly exploitable. Propaganda emotionally manipulates this weakness by associating the group identity with ideology, which are false promises of a better future. This process builds an artificial framework for thought patterns on a large scale. The framework is the base for the memes to self-generate from.

“It’s like the red hats, from the French Revolution!” Jeff exclaimed, “but they’ve got something more sinister inside of them, some kind of evil technology that made me so blindly accepting of new memes that I didn’t even realize I was trying to kill you.”

“Yeah, I haven’t worn one, but I’m guessing it normalizes thought patterns among those who wear them. It builds a mindset for which there is only one final conclusion. Violence. But to be fair, the French Revolution didn’t even need sinister technology to turn into a bloodbath.”

We both think in silence about our next move. I presume Jeff is thinking on the idea that struck us during Barrett Brown’s speech. We must infect Anonymous with our own meme. It seemed pretty cut and dry when it had dawned on us, but this conversation proved that it isn’t.

Still silently plotting, I decide to stay at an old friend’s apartment in Nova. Better not to rush straight to D.C. just yet.

Lagswitched by Anonymous

Today, gamers everywhere were unable to get totally pwnd by flying lagswitchers who use auto-aim scripts to score headshots every time. Anonymous has taken the age old rivalry between hackers and gamers to the largest possible scale and blown it for both sides. In what is spun by Anon Propaganda Sources as an act meant to defend hacker freedom, Anonymous has revoked the internet for all Playstation 3 consoles. For some who are too afraid to jailbreak their console and too dumb to use a PC, PSN is the only way to access the internet. Gamers have been left with no other recourse but to failtroll AnonNews and AnonOps.

Don’t get me wrong. The problem that Anonymous faces is not the minor hypocrisy of denying PSN filtered internet to mindless joystick jerkers. Anon has become confused and DDoSed when they really meant to lagswitch and grief, along with other long proven methods for ruining games. Maybe PSHome is in need of some poolside Afro loving. But no, thanks to DDoS fixation, Anonymous has committed the vile hypocrisy of ruining griefing for their own kind. I encourage all Anons to flood PSN with real ruination and hate. Get some true lulz out of this horse before it dies. Sony is scum.

Sony’s team of flunky executives has decided they will get a good profit margin on their attorneys’ salaries by going after the genius of George Hotz. Because GeoHot’s academic pursuits have defeated all software piracy safeguards, he is to blame for all piracy and must pay for every game ever pirated. When Apple claimed that they own your iPhone forever, it just did not stand up in court. Big businesses have become so crooked that they no longer want to sell you a product that works on its own. They just want to rent you a product that rents you more products. George Hotz took it upon himself to expose this farce and now Sony wants him to pay up. Any reasoning person can conclude that Sony owes George Hotz millions of dollars for his research. Sony is responsible for making PSN so shitty that the LOIC is more fun than Call of Duty: Black Ops. Point and shoot. Point and shoot. Point and shoot. Point and shoot.

 

Thousands dead in Washington D.C.

Jeff rips the bong and sips coffee with me. Jeff’s comrades refuse all hospitality. They’re typical American teens, conditioned to hate free things and fear mild drugs. They’re more interested in getting back to a place with cell service than understanding what just happened to them. Jeff and I don’t talk, but I understand that he is coming with me when his friends leave. By the time the coffee and weed are really kicking in, we’re doing 90 on Interstate 81 listening to the news radio cycle through the same old shit. Then something new.

” There are chilling unconfirmed rumors that right now a mass murder of public officials is being committed by Anonymous.  Allegedly armed with nothing but swords, Anonymous has taken control of the Capitol building, for now. The bodies of congressional staffers, lobbysits, congressmen, and congresswomen have been heavily mutilated and raped. Protesters in the streets are celebrating. Barrett Brown has announced he is about to make a speech.”

I talked to Barrett Brown last week on Skype. He used a false baritone that reflected his inflated self-importance. He tried to skirt the fact that he knew who I was. I forced him to recognize me by rudely eating a sandwich on cam instead of introducing myself. He had plenty of disdain for Anonymous but did not like how I wanted to compare them with a cult. Barrett claimed to be in connection with all the leaders of Anonymous.

Barrett’s incredibly sly about phrasing and never uses strong language to describe his supposed position of power. When he makes thinly-veiled claims about his connection to the “leadership” of Anonymous it is truly ironic. Barrett Brown colludes only with the sockpuppet masters of Anonymous.

The Anonymous I know is only capable of self-love and hatred. The hesitant love “Anonymous” has for Barrett Brown is quite obviously created artificially by sockpuppets. No one ever really liked that David Spade looking motherfucker anyway. He made up the heroin addiction for dramatic effect and smokes cigarettes through interviews as part of the act.  Barrett Brown, the amusingly bad spokesperson, manufactured by the government.

As I’m sharing this realization with Jeff, the radio goes quiet for a few seconds. The silence cuts to a live audio feed from outside the Capitol building. Barrett Brown’s speech is about to begin. I hear the mob chanting Barrett’s name over and over. As Barrett takes the podium, the mob is jubilant. Brown waits for the people to silence themselves and then waits a little while longer to increase the anticipation. The man who is speaking now seems to be related to the Barrett Brown I spoke with on Skype but only in name. He speaks comfortably and with obvious practice. His voice rises and falls. He makes promises. The people cheer wildly. Jeff turns off the radio and stutters a few times on thoughts that are coming out too quickly to be verbalized. I know what he is trying to say before he manages to spit out half of a sentence. I imagine that the same idea is simultaneously arriving in the brains of thousands. The viral aspect is thorny and tangible. There is still hope.