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“th3j35t3r’s” 50 pages of butthurt

In what may go down as the 50 most butthurt pages ever written in the history of humanity, “Rintendo64” and “bRatty” a/k/a “Kelly Hennessey” a/k/a “Butchiest” tell several blatant lies and spew schoolyard-level insults, only to top the monstrosity off with a conclusion that will blow your minds! This is all to deny a body of evidence amassed by Jen Emick, famed Social Engineer and FBI Consultant behind the unmasking of Sabu. This unreadable tract, grandiosely titled “The Misinterpretation of Silence and its Disastrous Consequences,” provides alternate evidence and insults to prove that Jennifer Emick’s research is either falsified or invalid due to Emick’s status as a fatty witch boo boo head. It immediately faceplants with a lie too stupid to believe.

…Emick stated that she was an “FBI Consultant” and would say she was “unable to comment” on numerous items as it “may impede an ongoing law enforcement” investigation. For the record, Emick is not an FBI Consultant/Contractor & her application to be a snitch was denied due to her inability to get any valid credible ACCURATE information.

Now that’s a very interesting theory, but major media outlets all agree: Jennifer Emick worked with the FBI to take down Sabu. It’s kind of a pointless lie that doesn’t actually prove anything. Anyway, my application to be a snitch was denied as well because I have never provided valid credible accurate information. You can ask the FBI, that’s exactly what they said, verbatim. But we’re wading into one hell of a gene pool, here, folks. It smells something awful.

Render64 was also the one that informed Kelly that the nic “FakeGreggHoush” was not the real Gregg Housh/wizy, but was in fact, a parody nic created by Emick meant to inflame the real Gregg Housh. (Harassment much?)  In fact, it wasn’t until the members of Anonymous doxed FakeGreggHoush as Emick at some point in early 2011 that ANYONE except for Hubris, the other 2 partners in BacktraceSecurity, plus Gregg Housh, & Welna knew that it was NOT Gregg Housh.

FakeGreggHoush is a funny parody account. Kelly, it says it’s fake. If you can’t tell parody from reality, you’ve got a serious problem. News flash, Kelly. isn’t real. The stupid’s just beginning, folks!

That Amok err Emick, her partner Welna, and ShadowDXS happen to be pathologically intent on exposing the Jester in any way possible, whether rightly or wrongly, was irrelevant to our side of that conversation, then or now.

Emick’s successful work revealing high profile hackers is a pathology, but that’s irrelevant. You know pathology means disease, right? I get the impression it’s more of a really functional, satisfying, and productive part of Emick’s life. You know she does talks at conventions and stuff, right? Do you guys? I’m no psychoanalyst or whatever, but this sounds like a projection. “The Misinterpretation of Silence and its Disastrous Consequences” is so dense with that stuff, you’ll just have to subject yourself to it because if I post it here, the sympathetic embarrassment will be too much to handle. There’s all sorts of other stupid bullshit I could find in these 50 pages of butthurt, but it’s all despicable behavior denied with despicable words. The entire superstructure of this narrative is basically shot within the first paragraph, so we’ll skip to the spectacular ending, a dizzying finale that will surely bring many standing ovations for “th3j35t3r’s” final act!

Or maybe Emick should show her version, complete with her repeated absurd insistence that Render is the Jester. That 17 pages of pointless drivel really could have used an editor, and a second, and a third slightly more stable opinion before it was released. Perhaps by someone who is not abusing drugs or suffering mental illness.

Now would be a very good time for Emick and Welna to take their permanently and self-damaged reputations out of the infosec communities. Before they really do get somebody hurt. They’re not even qualified to work for Gregory Evans or Joe Black.

Here’s a pro-tip for the Scooby Crew, lay off the Scooby Snax. They make your asses wider and trust us; you two are both asinine enough as it is without additional help.


PS: Cease and desist your harassment of us, our families, and our friends. This is your formal notice.

Protip: Don’t criticize the length of 17 pages of solid evidence with 50 pages of insults and accusations. Don’t be a grammar nazi if you can’t even get you’re grammar straight.  Also, I am honored that you saved the most cutting insult I’ve ever delivered to th3j35t3r for the end, ya Gregory Evans joke thieves! Did I set up shop in your head, Jestees?  Oh, and two more Protips. If you’re trying to defend your own status as “squeaky clean” “hackers,” you might not want to sign something like this with “NO HATS.” 50 pages of insults and lies topped off with clever ass wordplay isn’t the best place to put a formal notice requesting the end to “harassment.”

PS: We will sue th3j35t3r for attacking our web servers. This is “your” formal notice.

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