Allergic Police Circus Mesmerizes Nation

One never knows when a terrorist may be hiding in a closet or behind the shower curtains, and it’s even better to know that the Muslim across the street isn’t harboring Dzhokhar Tsarnaev — yet.

On April 15, 2013, The Tsarnaev brothers placed two bombs at the Boston Marathon which detonated at 2:49 . . .

Watertown heralds Police State invasion

Redditors enjoy a front-page appearance and are aroused as agents storm through their house.

BOSTON — 9/11 fans rejoiced Thursday after Boston Bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev was arrested by thousands of paramilitary police units which stormed through nearly 10,000 houses in Watertown, systematically invading every home in the area.

Citizens . . .

FBI REVEALS PHOTOS OF BOSTON BOMBERS

The “cocky” pair of bombers walks through the crowd.

The black-capped suspect disguised himself with sunglasses.

Is the white-hatted suspect on a cellphone? With WHOM?

 

Suspect in the gangster-looking white hat looks through the crowd.

. . .

YourAnonNews to launch Activist News Network

Anonymous News Network to serve up the unerring truth — a blatant threat towards the Internet Chronicle’s market-share.

INTERNET — This week, news broke that the YourAnonNews twitter account, with over a million followers, successfully raised $54,000 through merchandising and donations which will go towards founding the Activist News Network. This idea immediately . . .

Amanda Bynes dead at 27, inventor of ‘lol’ signs off

NEW YORK — Fans mourn the loss of Nickelodeon starlet Amanda Laura Bynes, who died early Wednesday morning at her home in New York . . .

Dinosaur mummy found in Antarctica

A mummified Argentinosaurus has been found under the melting Antarctic ice.

ANTARCTICA — Summer ice melts in Antarctica have revealed land that has been covered since the time of the dinosaurs, and according to Paleontologist Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador, it’s revealed part of the preserved body of one of the largest animals to . . .

You’re Diseased!

AMERICA — Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador, author of the bestselling do-it-yourself skin cancer removal book Slash and Save, excited fans with the publishing of his newest work, You’re Diseased! In this book, Dr. Troubadoor outlines the deep connection between pleasure and pathology, and he has graciously shared an excerpt from his introduction with the Internet Chronicle.

For . . .

Internet Chronicle to host Fred Phelps homosexual fantasy fiction contest

Nude images of Fred Phelps engaged in homosexual acts were leaked by spurned lovers.

WESTBORO BAPTIST — A pornographic image depicting Pastor Fred Phelps of the Westboro Baptist Church, famous for picketing the funerals of soldiers with incendiary anti-gay rhetoric, has drawn massive media attention due to its homosexual nature.

The Internet Chronicle . . .

Ivan Stang Dead at 59

Ivan Stang will be remembered for his convincing impression of a religious fanatic.

Cleveland Heights, OH — Fans mourn the loss of Doug Smith, also known as Reverend Ivan Stang, who died Friday from a brain-eating amoeba believed to have infected him during the filming of what he called “Animalcule Porn.” Famous for . . .

Rodong Sinmun

Backed by outside forces, the USA is hell-bent on igniting nuclear war against the DPRK . . .