WASHINGTON — After WikiLeaks reported that there were no witnesses to Osama Bin Laden’s burial at sea, an anonymous leaker from the Secret Service stepped forward with a startling claim — Bin Laden’s corpse was stuffed and put on display in Obama’s smoking room, perpetually locked in a ferocious and terrifying gesture next to the president’s favorite pinball machine.
Abu Muhammed, ISIS general, said, “The Islamic State will battle all the way to Washington DC and reclaim the defiled body of the Great Martyr.” Islamic theology holds that one day Islam is destined to control the entire world.