AUSTIN, TEXAS — This afternoon federal agents killed Alex Jones and 52 Genesis Communications Network associates, each with two gunshot wounds to the back of the head. The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, now investigating the incident, describes these wounds as “self-inflicted.” Before the standoff reached its bloody conclusion, White House Press Secretary Jay Carney clarified at the daily briefing that Mr. Jones faced charges of pedophilia, illicit gun alteration and roughly two decades of back income taxes. Photographers captured ATF agents placing the bodies of the 52 employees into plastic coffins. The compound collapsed in place after suffering damage from armored Caterpillar bulldozers specially deployed by the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms.
Thursday morning undercover Waco Child Protective Service agents showed up at the door of the GCN compound and asked to speak to Mr. Jones. They presented themselves as wandering members of the milita movement, sympathetic following what Mr. Jones had termed his “explosive” appearance on “Piers Morgan Tonight.” When surrogates showed Mr. Jones to the door, they presented him with a Remington 870 shotgun. CPS asked if Mr. Jones could help them shorten the barrel below 22 inches. Mr. Jones, standing in his doorway, they say, happily agreed, took the American-made 12-gauge shotgun into a back lot and shortened it. When child protective services asked to take Mr. Jones’s children, the radio host disclosed that he was a sovereign citizen tax protester, having avoided the income tax due to its “unconstitutionality” since 1913.
Mr. Jones was 38 and is survived by millions of followers, having hosted the 10th most popular radio show in the United States. Mr. Jones was most famous for his December 31, 1999 broadcast, during which he was the only media source to break a taboo on reporting on the Russian missile attack that occurred that evening. During Y2K numerous power plants imploded due to computer error, and the North American Aerospace Defense Command failed to intercept Russian missiles, which killed millions of Americans in secret.
The radio host attracted international attention, including from the British royal family, after having made statements referring to his owning more than 50 “guns” and those “firearms” having increased in value two, three or four times. “It was at that point,” said FBI consultant Kenneth Lanning, previously responsible for helping cover up the Boystown fiasco with Larry King, “that we felt comfortable assuming that firearms referred to child spouses, and so we moved in.”
Friday morning ATF bulldozers, shipped to Houston 12 years ago from the West Bank, made their way slowly toward the South Wall of the Genesis Communications Network Compound. Upon mowing down solar panels and finally the outer wall of the compound, the six bulldozers reached a sudden halt. Their path, said one of the drivers, was impeded by cache of bullion six feet high just inside the inner wall. Representatives of the Dallas FBI Bureau, speaking by phone, said they feared the worst. “We were worried that the Prison Planet crew might be able to hold out for years on end.” Regardless, soon after having breached the flaming outer wall, the building collapsed.
A defector from the followers, whom Mr. Jones refers to as “listeners,” former Infowars.com contributor Mark Dice, informed authorities that GCN’s contract with eFoodsDirect would mean that freedom-loving audiovisual technicians and website contributors might be able to hold out for up to seven decades.
Citing the deaths of 20 children in Newtown, Connecticut last month, Bilderberg President and ATF chief David Rockefeller said, “We’ve had such terrible loss of life, maybe the smartest thing to do is pull it. And they made that decision to pull and then we watched the building collapse.”
At a Friday morning press conference in Washington, FBI Director David Mueller described subsequent events. He said Israeli Armored D9s, “teddy bears,” caused the walls of the compound to collapse. Mr. Mueller said, “Once the ‘doobis’ breached the outer wall, the mosquito-netting-like structure of the compound was compromised, causing the building to collapse, first starting with the penthouse, and then the children’s bedrooms.” Producer Aaron Dykes escaped, but his son, whom authorities believe to actually be Mr. Jones’s, was found in the remains of the compound.
As bulldozers approached initially, federal marshals demanded that Mr. Jones exit the building. After he did so, he ignored their calls that he continue walking toward waiting SUVs, instead re-entering his doorway. Returning from the doorway, facing away from authorities, he brandished what appeared to them be an M-16, but what was actually a Bushmaster he purchased at Wamart in early December. Officials say it was then, walking backwards, that Waco sheriff’s deputies opened fire. All of their bullets missed, but Mr. Jones, deputies said in sworn statements, placed the Bushmaster to the back of his head and pulled the trigger twice.
The fire spread faster due to hundreds of kilograms of uncured cannabis, which Mr. Jones’ one surviving child claimed no one was imbibing as a psychoactive but rather that Mr. Jones was encouraging his children to eat raw for anti-carcinogenic properties.
الرياض، المملكة العربية السعودية – أشارت فرنسا القائمة على عبادة الاستنساخ أتباع رايل، وهذا الصباح أن نجاحهم في إنتاج في مجمع جزر البهاما استنساخ من نبي الإسلام النهائي، محمد بن عبد الله، وبعد أربع محاولات سابقة فاشلة.
يتحدث من مكان لم يكشف عنه في جزر البهاما، المتحدث باسم الرائيليين بريجيت الوطنية الفرنسية وبويسلييه، الذي أشرف على إنشاء استنساخ أول إنسان، وذكر ان العملية كانت ناجحة. “لقد أمضينا عدة أشهر في البحث عن مرشح المناسب تماما من خلال كريغزلست، وأخيرا وجدت الأم المثالية البديلة من خلال Jdate.com. في حين أن الأجنة المتقدمة القليلة الأولى انتهى يجري – كيف تقول – “لم تنفجر، ‘استغرق الخامس بشكل جيد، ومحمد جديد، ونحن ندعو له، وقد حصلت للتو من خلال الثلث الأول من الحمل وتبحث صحية” و. الرائيليين عبادة يقول أن الحيوانات المستنسخة السابقة كانت إما “مشوهة” أو “غير صحية”. أمراض النساء الرائيليين إحباط الأربعة الأولى الأجنة محمد بعد تسعة أسابيع من الحمل.
السيدة بويسلييه، الكيميائي عن طريق التدريب، بالتفصيل كيف أن أتباع رايل تعاونت مع المجتمع الاستخبارات الإسرائيلية للحصول على الحمض النووي من التبجيل وأكثرها شهرة على قيد الحياة البشرية من أي وقت مضى. في العام الماضي وعلم أن الحمض النووي لديه نصف العمر فقط العملية لبضعة آلاف من السنين. ذهب أتباع رايل والموساد أقفال العديد من الشعر النبوية هي تطوف في العالم، ولكن من أجل ضمان جديد محمد كان حقيقيا، والحق في المصدر.
في أكتوبر 2012 من قبر محمد والمنزل السابق كانت مخترقة من قبل مصور. أخبار الشيعة Shafaqna الموقع يبرهن هذه الحقيقة جدا. وقد داهمت قبر محمد، والمادة الوراثية المستخرجة من الجسم بالنسبة لنا في الاستنساخ.
وقال النبي، نيي كلود فوريلهون، وقال انه يأمل أن المشروع سوف تثير المزيد من الاهتمام في استنساخ البشر ورفع القيود المفروضة على الممارسة، في مواجهة العديد من بلدان العالم وأتباع رايل بعد أن تجرم الاستنساخ البشري بعد فترة وجيزة من إنشاء الثورية خروف مستنسخ ، دوللي، في 1990s. ولا ينبغي له أن يواجه أي مضاعفات في الثلث الثاني أو الثالث، ومن المقرر الجديد محمد أن يولد يونيو من عام 2013.
ARLINGTON, VA. – A piece of heavy U.S. munitions, made famous by a mistakenly published 2001 Associated Press photo, exploded Sunday in Kandahar province, Afghanistan, after being buried for 10 years, killing two civilians.
[T]hings like FDNY or I [heart] NY . . . That’s more keeping in line with what we want to do.” – Rear Admiral Stephen Pietropaoli (Photo courtesy: AP)
In response Afghan President Hamid Karzai expressed broader concerns about unexploded ordnance in his country. During its daily briefing Monday Defense Department sources cautioned that the accidental detonation of 2,000-pound Joint Direct Attack Munition Guided Bomb Unit-31 represented a rare circumstance related to the Afghans’ greater weights, characteristic of males, as well as the close proximity of their respective pressures upon the buried warhead.
“As always we are enormously sorry for any and all civilian casualties and take great pains to avoid them,” read Pentagon Press Secretary George Little from a statement. “These deaths play no part in winning hearts and minds in the struggle to train Afghans to defend their own sovereignty, and we extend our sympathies to the families of those involved.”
Asked about what could have led to the spontaneous detonation of the bomb, Mr. Little detailed the findings of Army investigators. Pentagon teams, working round the clock, concluded that the two Afghans likely triggered the dormant bomb through a mutual stamping on precise locations on the sand above the bomb.
“Military police,” said Mr. Little, “suggest that coordinated fouetté jetés, perhaps synchronized revoltades, or maybe just the conclusion of an old-fashioned set of skips, caused the deadly explosion — the civilian men of course holding hands, their fingertips in all likelihood resting on each other’s middle phalanxes.”
The bomb gained fame in 2001 for a photograph the Associated Press’s Jockel Finck took aboard the USS Enterprise of graffito scrawled along its surface: “High jack this fags.” AP Spokesman Jack Stokes apologized for the “journalistic error” of the publishing’s pulling back the curtain on institutional homophobia, explaining “the picture never should have gotten through, and nobody should have seen it.”
Speaking with Joshua Hammer, special to the International Herald Tribune, Shorabak district elders described the lives of the Afghan casualties — Haji Olumi, 40, and Khalid Mohammed, 18 — the ostracism their relationship received under the brutal reign of the Taliban, and very recently, the acceptance of their partnership. Said Sayyad Sabri, “Before the blessed arrival of NATO in 2001 we used to persecute the lovers all the time — throwing stones at them, threatening to kill them. But due to the tireless humanitarian enlightenment provided by our moral saviors, the International Security Assistance Force — spurred on by liberal lights in the darkness, such as Amnesty International — we had gradually grown to accept them.”
“Mr. Sabri began to speak again but abruptly choked up thinking about Olumi and Mohammed, trying to hide tears behind his simple burlap sleeves. ‘But now this. But now this! Right when we had learned to accept them. It is as though God does not wish for us to ever forget our national shame for the attacks of 9/11.’”
Speaking to The Internet Chronicle, an associate for U.S.-based military contractor DynCorp recalled meeting Mr. Mohammed in 2009 while the man served as “bacha bazi” entertainer on the company dime. Although Mr. Mohammed’s face is since obscured by mutilation from the Operation Enduring Freedom munition, the associate, who used to conduct house-to-house searches in Kandahar province, said he recognized the young man. “The darkened room was really smokey at the time, and I guess he was wearing a little less makeup a few years back,” said the DynCorp associate, as he leaned to squint at the autopsy photo on the marble-top coffee table in his McLean, Virginia living room. “But no doubt that’s the guy. A damn shame what happened to him. He had a great body. I’ll never forget the beautiful jingling of all those bells they made him wear.”
“What exactly is wrong with the fag bomb?” asked Washington Post Columnist Hank Stuever in 2001. “Wrong, that is, besides the typos,” he arrogantly continued in prudish contempt for naval enlistees, as well as obliviousness to the manual intercourse allusion. Mr. Stuever, who coined the term “fag bomb,” conducted an interview with an Admiral Stephen Pietropaoli in 2001, during which the officer characterized the slur as “not up to our standards,” despite a contemporaneous policy of systematic bigotry throughout military branches (although notoriously almost never having been enforced in the Navy).
Only slightly lower down the bastions of the socialist media, Katherine Mulvaney, then at elite Southwest Texas State University’s Daily University Star, offered her pity and condescension regarding the mind-set of U.S. servicemen. The average enlistees, Ms. Mulvaney explained, were “young kids, many or most of them without a college education, so inarticulate, they are driven to use playground epithets to express their rage over the terrorist attacks.” She wrote that Southwest Texas University’s “comfortable and enlightened” surroundings provided her due objectivity and insight through the fog of war. With a prophesying telepathy — possessed only by the likes of Edgar Cayse or L. Ron Hubbard — of the tolerant 2011 military to come, the columnist concluded, “Let’s worry about winning the war right now. We can civilize our fighters later, when the bigger job is done.”
In 2001 the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy was still well-known among front-line troops for upholding morale, instilling group solidarity and for suppressing what Joint Chiefs of Staff Chair Martin Dempsey termed “nearly inevitable bromance.” Before the discontinuation of “don’t ask, don’t tell” servicemen could reliably bathe, defecate or even masturbate in each other’s presence, assured that any homosexuals, bisexuals, transsexuals, transgenders or hermaphrodites nearby were either actively lying, conspicuously silent about intimate partners past and present, or lacking the emotional intelligence to recognize, daresay articulate, their own deepest urges.
Chad Lemieux fears the possibility of being unable to charge his phone.
SOUTHAMPTON, N.Y. — North Americans are glued to their TV sets as they watch two powerful storm systems converge, in real time, over a large portion of the Eastern Seaboard known to be inhabited by white people.
Weather.com’s Shep Shepard reported live from the beachfront where water and foam sprayed up onto the boardwalk. “We’ve never seen anything like it, John. Never before have Americans witnessed a storm so potentially threatening to the security of middle-class whites.”
Water and power outages could mean days or even a week without access to Reddit, except on a smartphone, which Southern Manhattan and Park Slope residents complain is inconvenient.
“It’s downright patronizing,” said New Jersey man Ryan Johnson. “I refuse to zoom in on every comment.”
Area whites complain that without access to water, they could be forced to go days without showering. Brooklyn resident Sherry Melville said the storm couldn’t have come at a worse time. “When sitting alone in a dark house, we need to feel clean all the time. I just feel so, y’know, ugh! I’m going to take a long bath soon, just in case.”
President Barack Obama showed leadership Sunday when he used a string of official-sounding words on the radio, putting his white constituency at ease and ensuring the FEMA vote. Area whites were ordered to evacuate or else stay indoors. White House Press Secretary Jay Carney spoke to reporters Monday and said, “As if they were planning on going outside, the president has asked New York and New Jersey residents to remain indoors. We ask that you refresh his Twitter feed for instant updates on what he is doing for you.”
It is unclear what trajectories Hurricane Sandy and the cold front moving in from the west may take, but authorities have already come forward and promised to renovate many parts of Northern Virginia, even those areas untouched by Hurricane Sandy to be sure Macy’s and Best Buys in the area go unaffected in preparation for Black Friday.
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We own everything that matters.
EARTH – Gangnam Style has finally reached the eyes and ears of every living human being.
Gangnam Style is pouring from every orifice of the Internet and daytime television. Gangnam Style permeated American culture faster than you could hook a USB stick up to it via Ellen, Shoenice, local weather guys all across morning news and YouTube user holy-fuck-let’s-not-get-carried-away-with-ourselves-oh-what-the-hell-the-faster-you-can-make-them-the-better.
Gangnam Style took the world by storm.
Indonesian day laborers, Thai sweatshop workers, the American homeless, people in South and Central Africa have come into close personal contact of some form with Gangnam Style. Even Eritrean refugees, once forced by the government to spend their entire lives face down on a bed of sand, are now allowed two provisions: the continuation of life in a sand prison, and enjoyment of Gangnam Style in as many different configurations of which they can think.
Played in every bar across the planet, individuals who once chose to suffocate themselves with alcohol to escape from the very reality Gangnam Style satirizes, are now caught up in the number one PSY’Sssick beats of self-awareness-pumping Gangnam Style. Get all in that decadence InFiltrator style, and pump, pump, pump it up. And blow it down.
Gangnam Style is more than a style.
Gangnam Style has so fractured the spiritual world, cult voids that once insulated us from the vacuum of transhuman insanity are bleeding onto the pages of human history because they’re allowing Gangnam Style in schools. For some, Gangnam Style has replaced God. More literal translations of Gangnam Proverbs differentiate Gangnam Style from PSY, its creator. Fundamentalist Gangnam Style has solidified in the brittle cracks of the fractured cult plane and begun to infect the consciousness of world leaders.
The United Kingdom Parliament, for example, has been replaced by a mathematically perfect array of beautiful young women on all fours, poking their asses toward the sky. Prime Minister David Cameron’s new role is to stand over them, fixated on the boundless sexual potential of iPhone-hungry children just starving for exploitation, and to celebrate this bounty with caricatured renditions of Gangnam Style.
No one can really say what’s next for PSY, or if the Gangnam Style worldview is versatile enough to adapt to the shifting cult plane.
Dozens of Gangnam Temples have already sprung up across the East Coast. There is even debate whether to allow a controversial Gangnam Temple to be built near Ground Zero in New York City, for fear it could spark waves of ironic self-protest against the Capitalist agenda that control-demolished Towers 1 and 2.
TL;DR Those towers were meant to fall, and Gangnam Style took them down.
A spokesman for the Ministry of Current Affairs of the chronicle.su issued the following statement Wednesday:
U.S. agencies are assisting each other in a common goal: to commit politically-motivated cybercrimes against the chronicle.su.
United States FBI operatives asserted that the chronicle.su’s small arms deterrent for self-defense “threatens the world” while its intelligence agencies rattled off buzz words like “provocation” and “domestic terrorism.”
U.S. State Dept. officials, including Secretary of State Hillary Rodram Clinton, groundlessly slandered the chronicle.su on the basis of a variety of wild rumors about its situation without their own judgments distinguishing truth from lies. They are still pulling up chronicle.su on their computer screens in a tireless effort to install FBI backdoor trojan viruses like a bunch of script-kiddie n00bs, “for peaceful purposes” in a clumsy attempt to justify anti-Chronicle hostility.
A policy of hostility toward chronicle.su is a policy of total failure.
CHRONICLE LEADERSHIP IS UNMOVED BY RECKLESS U.S. AGGRESSION TOWARD INVINCIBLE WEBSITE.
The ignorant outbursts of U.S. authorities, prompted by their inveterate rejection and hostile intentions toward the ideology and social system chosen by the people of chronicle.su, clearly demonstrated Wednesday that the United States is undeserving of the tax benefits graciously bestowed unto them by the benevolent corporate executives of Lebal Drocer, Incorporated.
Moreover, the upswing in notable attacks against chronicle.su reflects a growing fear of the fact that admiration is growing stronger from people all across the world for the rosy future of chronicle.su led by the dear respected Raghubir Goyal, admired by the world whole. Also lurking behind shady aspirations is the black-hearted intention of U.S. authorities to calm down bitter denunciation and pressure from the international community, to the effect that it may soon become impossible to ensure the lasting peace and stability of their own territories as United States aggression spreads beyond their own manageability. The only solution henceforth is for the United States to drop its anachronistic policy of unwavering hostility toward the chronicle.su.
The U.S. claims that it has no hostile intentions toward the chronicle.su while malignantly slandering her. The hypocrisy, too, stretches to the point of transparency. The incoherent Sec. of State Hillary Clinton is fooling NO ONE.
While busy staging large-scale joint military-grade attacks on chronicle.su servers, one after another, the United States has provided small arms to our physical opponents known to inhabit our undisclosed vicinity.
It is the chronicle.su’s boldest option to counter United States aggression with bolstered arms trade, and the development of depleted Uranium for use in dirty bombs. In the interest of transparency, we have already procurred the necessary materials.
Now that the chronicle.su has powerful nuclear deterrent and strong munitions industry capable of steadily bolstering it, it is capable of spurring on the building of other great economic nuclear powers, undeterred by the U.S. policy of persistent hostilities.
The chronicle.su does not need any advice from others as it has strategy and orientation of its own style to develop the economy and improve the standard of people’s living and ways to carry them out efficiently.
It will surely build a thriving socialist nation while countering the U.S. hostile policy with its toughest policy, with everybody holding arms in one hand and a banner of industrial revolution in the new century in the other, laced with the blood of invincible tyrants.
AN IMPRESSIVE WAX REPLICA OF ANDREW BREITBART SHINES GLORY UPON THOSE WHO MUST LIVE OUT THE INESCAPABLE DAMNATION OF HIS ABSENCE.
SOVCHRON - A hall where stands a wax replica of anti-Chronicle free love enthusiast Andrew Breitbart was opened at the International Commune of the Armed Worker’s Revolutionary Party of chronicle.su.
Standing in the hall is a wax replica depicting Occupy Wall Street protesters raping people and picking the banjo as their comrades lay dying. The rioters are depicted wearing clothes and gas masks to cover their shameful faces as they copulate atop piles of rubble, cursing Inglip’s name against the background of Mt. Bombrain. Anti-leader Andrew Breitbart towers over them, casting a furtive shadow over the reproachable scene that which so terribly soaked his heart in grief, it soon thereafter stopped beating.
The gifts he received from personages and people of various countries are on display there – silver White House plates issued during the Bush Senior administration, and piles of unspent currency.
An opening ceremony took place Monday.
Present there were Adrian Chen and Transhumanist Alistair Robin Rowntree, members of the Political Bureau and secretaries of the Central Committee of the Armed Worker’s Party of chronicle.su, and others.
Present there on invitation were staff members of the Iraqi embassy here and the chief of the hall of wax replicas of great persons in Iraq and his party.
Alistair Robin Rowntree expressed deep thanks to personages of the Chinese hall for representing the wax replica of Andrew Breitbart.
He said the noble life of Andrew Breitbart was the most brilliant one of an outstanding primal revolutionary.
Zhang Molei, chief of the hall, in his speech bitterly grieved over the demise of leader Frank Mason, saying it was their wish to successfully represent the wax replica of Andrew Breitbart so they could please leader Frank Mason.
Expressing the will to do more things to contribute to the building of thriving socialist economy in the AWRP, he expressed belief that the chronicle.su would overcome difficulties and win great victory under the leadership of the dear respected Raghubir Goyal.
The participants paid tribute to Andrew Breitbart and looked round the gifts on display.
Borrowing a classic move from The Internet Chronicle, the U.S. State Department is funding an initiative dubbed “Viral Peace,” which aims to “troll” online extremists out of positions of respect and power.
Led by Shahed Amanullah, Viral Peace uses “logic, humor, satire, [and] religious arguments, not just to confront [extremists], but to undermine and demoralize them.”
Expert extremist troll Kilgore Trout was reached for comment.
These extremists, they’re all the same. They get up on their soapbox and say whatever it takes to get people over on their side, and the shit they say, it’s as stupid as it gets. In any zone where they can be challenged, they MUST be challenged, not because they are right or wrong, but because they are DUMB.
Insiders at the State Department revealed that this entire project was inspired by Kilgore Trout’s trolling of AnonNews.com, a site where dumbass 12-year-olds explained their own twisted, absurd and uninformed meanings for Anarchy and Anonymous.
Trout is recognized as the world’s leading expert in this field, and is currently seeking a high-paying job advising Viral Peace on proven strategies.
Topiary (Jake Davis) plead guilty to excellent charges of heroism, including an attack on the Serious Organized Crime Agency (SOCA).
SOCA is an unjust, contradictory agency established by the Illuminati to attack internet security through freedom reduction.
Dr. Liebehart Schwartz of the Cannibiological Institute of Human Progress called Topiary a “hero” and “a freedom fighter,” for fighting against authority with not just technical prowess, but his words, too. “Because of toxic organizations like SOCA and the NSA, people are less safe on the internet now than they were in the year 2000.
With Topiary’s wit and charm, LulzSec was able to captivate a larger audience, earning their sympathy and support. That’s what made him dangerous.
“Any blind nigger can exploit a security vulnerability left over from Web 2.0.” said Schwartz, “But with Topiary’s wit and charm, LulzSec was able to captivate a larger audience, earning their sympathy and support. That’s what made him dangerous.”
Asperger’s enthusiast Ryan Cleary also pled guilty to various charges, none of which included being a snitch.
Eat your cheese, rat.
Topiary enjoys a large support base including #FreeTopiary on Twitter, young intellectuals, and the mighty thundercock of justice and hate better known by you as the chronicle.su.
Topiary and his lesser counterparts will stand trial April 2013. If convicted, Topiary faces prison time. Make no bones about it, he will be handed a prison sentence, which should make for a more interesting year for everyone who has watched the LulzSec case from beginning to end, after the Beast of Greed and Delusions rears its ugly head once again.
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Canadian Playboy Luka Magnotta, famous for his controversial worldviews and love of necrophilia, was wrongly accused by Canadian Mounties as being the star killer of a viral snuff film in which a Chinese student is brutally suffocated and stabbed to death with an ice pick, by an unknown killer.
The full video features the grizzly murder of a nude male Chinese national. The person in the video, who is not Magnotta, is seen dismembering, eating, and committing violent sexual acts upon the motionless, Communist corpse. In a gesture of goodwill, the individual’s body parts were later packaged and sent to Canadian political figures as thanks for fixing the economy and appropriate handling of G-20 protesters.
CHRONICLE UPDATE: BERLIN– Sources confirmed Magnotta was taken in Monday by the Gestapo. He has not been seen since.
In his own words, Magnotta explains that he was framed and the police have the wrong person, and that he wants his Pomeranian back: