BUENOS AIRES – JB’s at it again! Pop music’s most punchable face turned the tables on an Argentinian photographer when JB’s violent gang of thugs attacked an innocent paparazzo just doing his job.
GERMANY — Psychologist Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador of the Lebal Drocer Institute for community health came forward with a counter-intuitive explanation for the murder-suicide committed by Germanwings co-pilot Andreas Lubitz.
Dr. Troubador explained that mental illness is deviation from social . . .
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top . . .
INTERNET – The Internet Chronicle is proud to announce we will disable access to the chronicle.su domain for all homosexual readers. This change goes into effect immediately.
Under a fresh new Indiana ruling, chronicle.su is no longer required to cater to the godless homosexual agenda. As a result of this important change, our expert staff . . .
Obama, O-bam-a, O’ my Ali Babwa…
a framer for our time,
a fountain for our springs,
with eyes cast keen on our days.
You bear the cross that Jefferson glossed
and carry us on our way.
For there is no cost, no naught for dear us,
we are with you like wrinkles with age.
MOSCOW – In a sweaty interview with the infamous cyberterrorist Edward Snowden, darling satirist John Oliver refused to let Snowden iterate his basic technological explanation of how domestic spy programs, such as PRISM, violate the US Constitution. Instead, Oliver continuously interrupted Snowden, denying Americans’ ability to interpret the dialog for themselves, and said the interview . . .
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Literally no one was shocked to learn of a Saudi Arabian airstrike against the Haradh district of northern Yemen on Monday.
Angstrom Trodlinyiavic, a . . .
INTERNET — Nationwide’s latest crazed marketing campaign is based on a software reconstruction and a “quantum leap” in what’s called generative propaganda creation, which has not been possible until now because of the monstrous bulk of data it must collect.
“When corporations are people, you’re a child.” ~ Neil Young
Instead of using traditional focus . . .
INTERNET — A former ISIS militant told reporters, after escaping into Turkey, that ISIS is, in his words, “A homosexual circlejerk, faggotry of the most despicable type imaginable.”
Speaking under . . .
The chronicle.su is perfect in every way. Stop the Internet.