Scotland’s failed bid for independence defrauded by Illuminati

Open voting fraud was reported widely across Scotland

INTERNET — Friday, Scotland lost its bid for independence as a majority of the country allegedly voted ‘No’ to independence. Analysts were astounded as social media clearly showed a strong preference for ‘Yes’ votes. In addition, photographs clearly displaying rampant voting fraud were circulated widely . . .

World’s first fully 3d printed solar powered drones fill the skies

Taylor Fenderson’s drones filled the skies Thursday, terrifying many pitiable souls

INTERNET — Taylor Fenderson of Roanoke County, Virginia announced the invention of solar powered 3d printed drones.

Mr. Fenderson winked and told reporters at an impromptu press conference, “Watch this.” Hundreds of drones formed a swirling mass, not unlike a cyclonic school of . . .

VISIT GRIMLIES NATIONAL PARK TODAY

The Grimlies are beautiful this time of year and just the thing to spice up your social media feed.

TOURISM — Stare at your phone in awe and wonder as you take in the natural beauty of the Grimlies and enjoy the internet¬†streaming from our thoroughly disguised 4g towers placed on the crest of . . .

Pope Francis declares military Crusade against ISIS

Pope Francis to underwrite millions of soldiers in a transnational Christian Army to tackle ISIS.

SEPTEMBER 11 — Pope Francis held a global council of Christian leaders from all creeds Thursday and declared a “New Crusade,” calling on “volunteer Christian soldiers” to oppose the rise of the New Islamic Caliphate (ISIS or ISIL). The . . .

Comcast deploys military police to Ferguson, MO

“The free market has a solution for Ferguson.” . . .

Repression Quest

INTERNET — The video gamer atmosphere was heavier with repressed sexuality than ever before, and positive reviews of a video game called Depression Quest kept flying off the pages of game review publications.¬†“A game that you have to read? And when you read it, its intention is not to make you have fun, it’s to . . .

Robert Crumb dead at 71

Robert Crumb will be deeply missed by his fans

FRANCE — Fans mourn the death of Robert Crumb, also known as R Crumb, who died suddenly Thursday from a rare exploded prostate. Crumb was known for his cartoon characters Fritz the Cat, Mr. Natural, and the album artwork on Janis Joplin’s Cheap Thrills.

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Anonymous Hacker Commander X takes down Facebook

 

Commander X has risen through the ranks of Anonymous to become its most powerful leader yet.

INTERNET — Commander X, famed hacker from Anonymous, took credit for downing Facebook today with a powerful new cyber weapon known as Padmasambhava, named after the Commander’s Tibetan Buddhist roots. Commander X, also known as Chris . . .

How Can I Alpha Up?

Whether you like it or not, the invisible hand of the sex market is stroking off alphas all over America

“One must take the Red Pill to escape to reality, outside of ideology, specifically Feminist Theory, the dominant ideology which suppresses all forms of masculinity. This is a force that acculturates mostly white . . .

Jeep to manufacture all new 2015 model Patriots in only the color white

Patriots will be manufactured in only one color: White. . . .