INTERNET – EXHILARATING new developments as Revenge Pornographers LOCK DOWN TANTALIZING LEAKS: GLENN GREENWALD GAY; CONFIRMED!

The raunchy exposé follows YEARS of tedious genocide coverage by the failed journalist, hosted confusingly on Power-Zionist Peter Thiel’s shock news site RUMBLE™. Greenwald had been whining endlessly about incinerating toddler or some such rubbish, but all the while he was betraying their interest – and yours – by soliciting GAY ACTION.

Thiel complained to Chronicle, “I-I-I-I-I- I just told him to…. To…. to stop! I said, I said GLENN. We- you- I- w- you can’t do this! I can’t host this! You think- you think- what, you think it makes any difference if- if- if- if you’re Jewish? Buddy, that’s precisely who they’re locked in on! You think I want these people coming after me?! You… I… You… There’s a very strict protocol for these business arrangements. I-I-I-I- I told him…. Glenn! You have to STOP!”

Get ready, because what you’re about to see next on this web article will chill you to your very bone. Glenn Greenwald in dainty maid and skirt pantyhose gruesome fetish FUCK

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I CAN’T FUCKING BELIEVE IT, CAN YOU? WILL ANYTHING EVER BE THE SAME AFTER THIS?!

The breaking story reached front desk of Lebal Drocer CEO Raleigh T. Sakers who all but confirmed Mossad was behind the hit. “This is almost certainly Mossad’s doing, I go golfing with the guy who keeps hold of this filth. He has his own private server. Petabytes of the shit.

“But you listen to me cockroach, I’ve been happy to let the Chronicle slide into irrelevance to avoid precisely this type of scandal. You think I want my good friends smeared in my own paper? Not a chance! We’ve got a fundraiser coming up for the annual Fair Saint Louis Parade and I do not want our biggest donors unhappy.

“If you so much as think of publishing even the faintest allusion that Mossad is behind this? You better believe you’ll be the next one in tight panty girdle on the front page of the New York Post! Oh, what’s that? No such thing exists? WHAT DO YOU THINK WE HAD THAT AI BUILT FOR? WRITING ARTICLES? GET OUT OF MY OFFICE!”

Long time collaborator and heterosexual icon Andrew “Woiv” Auernheimer was shocked and appalled, “this whole time I thought Glenn was Aryan and straight, but it turns out he’s Jewish and gay? What the fuck, man!” Greenwald did everything in his power to rehabilitate Auernehimer’s public image after a neo-nazi hack gone wrong, but it just wasn’t enough. Old wounds now re-open, and the salt inserts directly, “it’s given me a lot to think about that’s for sure! HAH! HAH! HAH!”

None were more bothered by it though than old friend and collaborator Ethan Klein of h3h3 fame. Klein recently fell into a heaping pile of dung when it got accidentally revealed his wife “Hila” Klein was a former raider in the Israeli Defence Force. The controversy saw users haemorrhaging out of his podcast – and spondulix out of his pocket. Klein worked quick to control the damage, but it just wasn’t enough.

In a last ditch attempt h3 swallowed his pride and solicited donations for Palestine, but accidentally gave all of it to Ahmed Fouad Alkhatib, a Palestinian, yes, but sneakily employed by the Atlantic Council, direct facilitators of the democide. With no where left to turn, Klein’s only hope was a puff piece at the intercept from him old chum Greenwald Glenn, but it turned out he was batting for the other side.

“After all these years my good friend Glenn Greenwald can’t even lift a finger to write some positive press about me? It pisses me off!”

“For months on end now he’s been brow beating me, Ethan your perspective’s all wrong, Ethan you’re on the wrong side of history. Ethan. Ethan. Ethan. Ethan. But the whole time this is what he’s doing? Maybe those kids deserved to die if this is who’s really pushing their agenda!”