“Joker Killer” James Holmes converts to Islam

AURORA, Colorado — Thursday, news broke Mass murderer James Holmes re-imagined the motivation for his spree-killing and took up strict Islamic practices. Holmes’ spree-killing took place in a Colorado movie theater as a gunfight broke out on screen in the newest Batman movie. Holmes was dressed as the Joker as he gunned down 12 people and injured 58 others.

Holmes now follows a strict diet, prays toward Mecca five times a day, and diligently studies the Koran. He now sports a full beard in Islamic tradition.

Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador, psychologist, said, “Holmes is a perfectly sane person who styles himself an extreme performance artist. This killing was meant to satirize the bloodthirsty public, and his constant tongue-in-cheek posturing as the ‘other’, whether it be the Joker or an Islamic terrorist,  is meant to poke fun at the simple-minded black-and-white thinking in American culture. His message couldn’t be more clear: There is a disgusting double standard for violence where innocent deaths at the hands of the American Military or in motion pictures do not cause public alarm until ‘innocent’ Americans die. He was willing and desperate enough to stake his life on this joke.”

Inside sources at the prison say Holmes is already planning to shave his beard and hair to pose as a neo-Nazi for his next hearing.