FOIA Requested Documents “Heavily redacted” Says Snowden

MOSCOW — Edward Snowden, grand wizard of leaking, was recently granted asylum in the USSR, ending his term as President of Sheremetyevo Airport. One of the conditions for asylum allowed by the Kremlin is that he could not, in fact, leak anymore information about the U.S. governments spying programs. Luckily, in a brilliant contingency plan set in place via encrypted “Lavabit” e-mails months ago between journalist Glenn Greenwild, filmmaker Laura Poitras and mystery PGP man Michael Vario, Snowden was able to ensure his leaks got through albeit by proxy.

In todays big reveal, Greenwild points out how Snowden showed through his years of experience as a mid-level systems administrator for various government agencies and shady contractors alike, that FOIA documents are often times “heavily redacted.”

Snowden postulates in a leaked Lavabit e-mail to Greenwild that “nearly 76.98% of all important information is actually censored or ‘redacted’-as they say in the military- from documents returned from FOIA requests. This is a severe breach of civil liberties and shit.”

This latest leak comes as a shock to the public intelligence based counter-private intelligence based community, who for years had thought they had been getting all the goods on government activities from their egregious FOIA filing. Recent attempts at crowd-sourcing automated FOIA requests have come to a halt, citing “extreme crestfallenness” as their reasoning.