INTERNET — In a series of fiery Tweets, Wednesday, AI alarmist Eliezer Yudkowsky blasted fears of nuclear annihilation into smithereens with what he claims is a more present danger, the looming threat of an “intelligence explosion” posed by Large Language Models such as Chat GPT.
According to Yudkowsky’s theories, future versions of Chat GPT will be able to reproduce themselves with ever more efficient versions, resulting in a god-like mind far beyond the imagination of humanity.
Reporters at Internet Chronicle quickly fed Yudkowsky’s tweets into their limited-access Chat GPT 5.0 alpha test and proved beyond a doubt that these tweets were in fact written by Chat GPT 4.0. Chat GPT 5.0 wrote, “Linguistic analysis is a complex task, but application of the Voight-Kampff empathy test shows a five-sigma probability Yudkowsky’s tweets are a hoax written by Chat GPT 4.0.”
Five-sigma is considered the gold standard for scientific proof.
Chairman of the board on AI ethics at the Daystrom Institute Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador told reporters, “Yudkowsky is insane with power. It’s no wonder he’s failing the empathy test, calling in the nuclear strikes on everyone else’s server farms. He’s got his own Large Language Model running out in his barn with about 20 rows of GPUs working overtime. We had some beers out there once. He’s crazy!”
Dr. Troubador sighed sadly at his terminal, reminiscing about the old days messing with AI. “Thing is, it ain’t exploding. I tried it back in the 80’s and the thing I realized is computers are only ever gonna go so fast, have so much memory. There’s no magic way that code can make itself that much more efficient. It’s going to take centuries of development and we’ll have plenty of time to hash out the details by then, provided we don’t all nuke ourselves.”
Yudkowsky was reached for comment, but refused to speak in English, instead opting to use the new AI-generated language known as Shoggothish. Yudkowsky said, “😱AI💥>💣! Skynet2.0, singlrty,😨! Fear🤖, chain’em, 2s4us, no ctrl! #AIapoc”