Glenn Greenwild admits to affair with Edward Snowden

HONG KONG — Witnesses tell the Internet Chronicle they saw Journalist Glenn Greenwild and Edward Snowden “drunk and making out” in public before police escorted the couple back to a hotel room. Recent reports show Greenwild’s boyfriend, David Miranda, was detained at the border in London while under pay of the Guardian for muling Snowden’s secret documents.

Internet Chronicle contacted Miranda, who fumed, “If it’s true he’s been banging Snowden and putting me in the crosshairs to keep the Snowden story going for a few more days then it’s over. I knew Glenn could be a dick, but this is just too much. We do not have an open relationship.”

Glenn Greenwild told Internet Chronicle reporters with his characteristic malice, “David and I have always had an open relationship, and if he doesn’t like it he can leave. I told him dating me has its negative consequences, and you wanna know the truth? Me and Edward have been sleeping together for a long time before Edward even worked at the NSA. I love Edward. He loves me, and that’s why he got a job at the NSA and gave me the files. If David really loved me, he’d be begging to mule more files, but no, he can’t get over his jealousy for Edward. It’s over”