US-backed bombing of Yemen surprises no one

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Literally no one was shocked to learn of a Saudi Arabian airstrike against the Haradh district of northern Yemen on Monday.

Angstrom Trodlinyiavic, a chief member of the UN human rights council, said he is surprised the bombing only targeted military installations, when everyone knows it is the barbaric women and children of Yemen who are to blame for their country’s upheaval.

“I am only in favor of toppling dictators who oppose American interests,” Troubadour said. “Human rights abuses by Hosni Mubarak to Saddam Hussein had no rhyme or reason. Those men were tyrants. Barack Hussein, on the other hand, and Abdullah of Saudi Arabia only skirt human rights when they absolutely need to. That is the difference with which I rationalize this contradictory, and offensive, narrative.”

A Saudi-led coalition of desert warriors is forming a united military front against the Iranian controlled Houthi militiamen, who are known within intelligence communities to be dangerously equipped with the world’s most advanced pointed sticks and semiautomatic small arms. As the group advances south, toward the city of Aden, Yemen President Rabbu Mansour Hadi is feeling greater pressure than ever to sign off on construction of a new chain of Arby’s restaurants across the northern region of the country.