INTERNET — Die-hard conservative fans mourn the loss of Ali Abdul-Razaq Akbar, better known as Ali Alexander, who died from eating poisoned Taco Bell in a failed attempt to instigate a mass suicide at his South American “MAGA mega-city,” Alexandertown.
Nearly a thousand MAGA conservatives were bused and flown to Alexandertown, thinking they would find the utopia promised by Alexander. However, they only found themselves being used as human shields in Alexander’s flight from US authorities.
When Alexander announced his so-called mega-city, he promised fans, “I am going to create a society, and a community, and a culture, and a language,” but survivors say the world they found was only filled with fast food and strict Islamo-Catholic repression that one victim called the “Taliban lite.”
“I believe he was facing charges for organizing the insurrection on January 6th, and after moving to Alexandertown he’d caught wind that Brazil was ready to extradite,” Attorney Jay Leaderman told reporters. “It was set up to be another Jonestown, he was going to take his cult out with him. But luckily they were free thinkers and did not drink the koolaid, or in this case, eat the Taco Bell.”
In Alexander’s last moments, he reportedly sent out several now-deleted tweets and telegram messages praising ISIS and promising the most dedicated members of Alexandertown that the poisoned Taco Bell tacos were their key to eternal victory. “God Wins! Glory to MAGA. The final backup plan is readied. Taco Bell is The Last Supper, the Greatest Communion.”
Dominic Tabor spoke to reporters shortly after escaping Alexandertown, saying, “I don’t care for abortions, wokism, or the so-called free press, but when Ali banned pork I knew something was up. It’s one thing when they take my plastic straws, my gas stove, but pork? So I moved all the way to South America for this? Nobody ate those poisoned tacos because we were on a hunger strike to get our pork back. So we’ll get by without Ali. He had a lot of great ideas, but at the end of the day he didn’t understand America.”
4 replies on “Ali Alexander dead at 38”
DON’T BE MEEK, ‘KILL ALL THE PEDOS’, EVEN THE ONES WHO I USE TO HANG OUT WITH, AND THEN LAST NIGHT TRY TO DEFENDED ON TWITTER ‘CAUSE CONSPIRACY THEORIES AND DELETED THAT TWEET TO BARRETT BROWN. *waves & blows 💋💋 to @ronbryn
‘As they rummaged, they discussed what kind of mischief they could make. “I thought a fake story where the Queen’s corgis were kidnapped would be funny,” Lolcat says. “I also sketched up a deface [mocked-up page] for the News of the World – a comic strip that explained how to hack voicemail. But Murdoch’s suicide was the winner. That was Topiary’s idea.’
You’ll never top da king 🤴 fishfag
Twitter is always more entertaining when you just lurk, js
#snitchINtime
Here is the point you people have missed: Ali Alexander is a high octane child molestor. He is going far beyond what you or I are familiar with. Nick Fuentes collaborated with and platformed him to spit roast a catboy. This is fucked up. The fact this continues to go under reported is the most fucked up part of this news cycle.