GOBLIN NEWS

Confiscated news item from the human front:

More and more people are grabbing doorknobs and touching their eyes, mouths, and noses, leading to deadly infection. “Spinal Meningitis” is not just a cool Ween song, it’s also a cool and dangerous disease, and new cases are on the rise, says Dr. Angstrom Troubadour, Fellow at the Infectious Diseases Institute in Lebal Drocer Falls, Minnesota.

Troubadour says spinal meningitis is not that serious, and that there are painful and expensive treatments for it, should such a need arise.

“Hi, I’m Dr. Angstrom H. Troubadour. So you fucked around and got your spinal fluid infected?”

Not to worry. Lebal Drocer Pharmaceuticals offers a series of low-cost, high-pain injections, and high-cost, painful injections. A solution for every patient/customer!

Buy my stuff, and learn what sick really means.
       —Dr. T