Tuesday, shops in Norway pulled Anders Breivik’s favorite games from their shelves. Among the list of banned games are Call of Duty and World of Warcraft. Brevik not only enjoyed these games, but praised their real value in training him for the Utoya massacre.
“‘I see MW2 more as a part of my training-simulation than anything else. I’ve still learned to love it though and especially the multiplayer part is amazing. You can more or less completely simulate actual operations.”
In an apparent domino effect, goods of all kinds related to Breivik have been banned throughout Norway.
The Breitling Crosswind model, Breivik’s most beloved watch, has been been outlawed in Oslo. Wearing a Crosswind in the capital is now an offence punishable by up to three years in prison. Authorities have tracked down the Crosswind Breivik sold for bomb supplies and shipped it to Iceland for destruction in an erupting volcano, as authorities believe it could be the source of some of Breivik’s evil powers.
Breivik wrote of the essential role of an iPod in his attack, “I will put my iPod on max volume as a tool to suppress fear…” In one part of Norway, Ipods were rounded up and pulverized with Breivik’s preferred bomb-making food processors, which are made by Electrolux. After the Ipods were pulverized, the blenders were thrown on a stack of Breivik’s favorite books, which were first soaked with his choice cologne, Chanel Platinum Egoiste. The cologne-soaked book pile which was mostly made up of 1984 and Atlas Shrugged burned brightly as the blenders full of crushed iPods melted into a single mass.
Meanwhile, radio stations across Norway scoured their collections and discarded the entire “Vocal electronika” genre, as it was Breivik’s favorite. Production of an opera by Wagner mentioned by Breivik in his manifesto was terminated and banned from Norway permanently.
Coderock, Norway’s greatest graffiti artist – according to Breivik – was found dead in his apartment. Coderoc’s personal collection of art purposefully defiled and smeared with his tangentially guilty blood.
6 replies on “Norway bans Breivik related-paraphenalia”
as absurd as this piece sounds, it is, in fact, 100% true.
ban lacoste!!
Yes this post is 100% true. Lacose is banned now in Norway, just like Breitling. You can recieve up to 2 years in prison.
Im Norwegian, and this is bullcrap.
This is just bullshit! But: Never let facts ruin a good story!
So pleased to see my fellow norwegian countrymen still don’t have a grasp of satire.