President Obama OKs Plan to Remove All Curvy Profiles From OKCupid

“Nobody wants ’em anyway,” added the President.

That people corner all the fungus in your frame

take it easy

I wanna live a life in vain

Make it women

[pullquote]god damn humanity vortex[/pullquote]You sit there with your fucking smartphones (smarter than you are), eyes sucked into them like a god damn humanity vortex. Is there anything more important than a fucking text message in this world? How about the fact we are all walking around in a motherfucking society?

“Nah, man. Nah, you see there’s this person sent me a text.”

Yeah, I get texts too and I don’t live to check and reply to them. I let that shit wait, why? Because it’s a fucking SMS sitting on a SIM-card. Why should I give a fuck somebody text me? You know what I do when I get a text? Options > Erase All. Because I don’t fucking care about your texts OR your phone calls.

Obama likes to Occupy Wall Street, if you know what I mean folks. I mean he is IN THOSE FUCKEN OFFICES REGULATING LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER – just kidding, deregulating neoliberal globalism FTW UP IN HERE. WHERE MY BANKERZ @

“We’re right here sir.” Oh, good. Present thine penids so that I may sucketh thee.

Bankers present penids.

MMMMMMM THAT’S GOOD CAPITALISM! FREE MARKET SOCIETIES HAVE FEWER CHILDREN AND FEED THE CONSUMERIST APPETITE, APPLE PRODUCTS, EXTERNAL HARD DRIVES, FLAT SCREEN TV’S, MOTHERFUCKING PLASTIC SHIT.

Fuck you.