Banksy Desecrates the Western Wall

In what is turning out to be the worst case of popular sacrilege since the Jyllands-Posten Muhammad cartoons controversy, Sunday, the infamous street artist Banksy boldly desecrated the Western Wall with an absurdly simple and gratuitous anti-war message in a contrived media event designed to boost his own brand of so-called “anti-celebrity.”

Orthodox Rabbi Shlomo Amar has called this incident the “Worst outrage since the holocaust, and all Gentiles should be punished unequivocally and without discretion.”

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Conspiracy theorists in Israel have identified “Banksy” as a Muslim citizen of the UK named Hayed Al-Achmed. We reached Al-Achmed for comment, and he denied these accusations categorically and provided proof from his employer that he could not have possibly been in Jerusalem at the time of the blasphemy.

Nonetheless, the already tense and religiously charged situation in Israel has instantly degenerated. Seemingly taking this event as a cue, at least 70 rockets have been fired towards Israeli settlements, and Israel has been accused of launching White Phosphorous munitions from drones onto Exploited Palestinian Ghetto Cities.

Banksy has remained unavailable for comment.