Author: Kilgoar

INTERNET — Fans mourn the death of Robin Williams, famed comedian who popularized rainbow suspenders in the 80’s with his spunky alien television character, Mork. However, newspapers around the world report this smiling and funny man committed suicide by asphyxiation without making any serious attempt at explaining how or why. In what appears to be yet another clear case of celebrity homicide by the Illuminati, such vague and general explanations by the media have been swallowed hook, line, and sinker by the gullible sleeping masses.

Robin Williams was beloved by billions, and his movies brought joy and compassion into the hearts of adults and children everywhere. It is rare that such a passionate man could make it very far in the movie industry without selling his soul to the devil and succumbing to Illuminati influence, and perhaps there was a building tension in his life between his compassionate side and the hateful necessity of Illuminati membership. Perhaps this tension tore Robin Williams apart and he did commit suicide, or more likely, perhaps he decided to leave the Illuminati once and for all and was quickly eliminated by an assassination squad that made his death look like a suicide.

In Robin Williams’ classic movie Hook, the grown Peter Pan returns to Never Never Land — Michael Jackson, being the greatest opponent of the Illuminati in our generation also used this imagery for his Illuminati refuge — where he again learned to fly, although it was supposed to be impossible for an adult. As it is said in the bible, only those with the heart of a child may enter the kingdom of heaven. Did Williams decode his own movie and try to learn to fly, to return to Never Never Land, where the Illuminati’s powers are reduced and regressed back to that of Captain Hook, from the early modern period? Almost surely, yes, but this time, he didn’t make it through to the end. Hook won, and Robin Williams was murdered by the Illuminati.

New America, NM — Citizens in small New Mexico town of New America are taking on both the NSA and corporate data-collectors in a big way with local policies.

New America Mayor Patrick Durndle told the Internet Chronicle, “We’ve adopted our own more patriotic additions to the Bill of Rights for citizens of New America.” Although he admits they do not have any force outside of New American courthouses, he says, “Our municipal internet is implemented with sophisticated cryptography and there’s no fast lane allowed, no mass hoovering of your data. But we believe in the free market! If you want to opt-in and allow marketers to collect your data, you will get a check in the mail.”

New America’s local Bill of Rights states:

1. Any human beings’ intentional and unintentional creations and metadata are the natural property of that human being and not that of the state or any other enterprise
2. All human beings are entitled to the right to be forgotten on the Internet
3. All human beings are entitled to the reasonable expectation of ephemeral privacy, that is, existence outside of coerced eternity in mass data storage.

Democracy Now!, The Real News Network, and other provocative journalism outlets have already put offices and computer servers in New America, applauding its local Bill of Rights on air. Amy Goodman of Democracy Now! told viewers,”The NSA will have real trouble using most of their tools to snoop on our municipal internet, that’s how tight we’ve got the cryptography set up. Our sources can feel extraordinarily safe when communicating with us, and their lives are always on the line. The local Bill of Rights promises to never store or release our personal and professional information without court order and a notification of mass-storage style surveillance.”

Alex Jones, fringe radio anchor, also moved his headquarters to New America and told listeners, “Businesses are flooding into town for the safe internet. Bitcoin bankers, especially, are installing servers in a big way. This is it folks, Bitcoin has a safe zone, a data haven. Freedom has a hold, folks. We’re finally winning. We’ve been looking for this pinhole of light in dark times for decades. I’ve heard that there are these guys, dataheads, hanging around making all their living just by surfing the free local internet. Free Market Free Internet, Rare earth deep earth ionic silver crystals. There’s no need for welfare anymore, it’s all free market. Anyone who doesn’t think New America is the best place for investment opportunities on the entire globe should be killed. That’s how good the economy here is.”

INTERNET — Ebola deaths are mounting across the United States as blood vessels hemorrhage and corpses bloat and turn purple. After President Obama ordered Ebola patients brought into the US, Snowden reports Obama signed a secret executive order rubber stamped by FISA courts to issue a media blackout preventing any reporting on the spread of the disease in the homeland. Untold thousands are already dead, but we’re reporting FEMA military forces descend on the victims and seal them in plastic coffins while they’re still alive.

Some analysts, like Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador, believe these bodies are being collected while alive for a final crop dusting of the human population, “It takes only ten thousand bloated Ebola corpses, liquefied and sprayed in the atmosphere, to kill off 90 percent of the world’s population. And that’s what they’ve been gunning for all along. If this Ebola spreads just that far, that will be the end for most humans,” Dr. Troubador warned, adding, “Blacks, Hispanics, and Asians are most susceptible to Ebola and will die off in the greatest numbers, leaving whites in command of the entire planet. This is a culture war.”

We reached Homeland security and spoke to them about the Ebola outbreak coverup in the US. Spokesperson Jeremy Scarhill nodded slowly and half-smiled, saying, “No comment.”