axisflip cryptofinancial

Categories
Health News

Toast Sandwich craze sweeps Britain

The Chef serves up a piece of toast, cleverly sandwiched between two pieces of untoasted bread. (This image is used without permission)

The Royal Society of Chemistry unveiled a delicious new sandwich, rediscovered from the golden Victorian era. The toast sandwich, a piece of toast between two pieces of untoasted bread, is touted as the cheapest lunch possible. UK residents have celebrated this incredible discovery by throwing lavish toast sandwich parties, as they are finally able to afford to eat a healthy meal full of necessary vitamins and minerals.

Gerard Loffington-Starkley spoke high praise of his new favorite meal, “I fucking love toast sandwiches they taste so fucking good and saved me enough money to finally afford toothpaste. Hopefully in another week my gums will stop bleeding from all this fucking toast I eat at every single meal!”

The Royal Society of Chemistry has offered an extremely generous reward of £200 for anyone who can come up with a cheaper meal. Some have already suggested cutting the toast sandwich to only one piece of bread, but the Royal Society has denied such innovators any reward. Lord of Chemistry, Sir Mitchell Dunkworthington III, said “That doesn’t even count as a different type of sandwich, it’s just the same thing with less bread. No prize.”

Austerity is finally coming full circle for the people of Great Britain, and with ingenious ideas like the toast sandwich, the British empire may finally be seeing a glimmer of hope for the end of this terrible economic collapse.

axisflip cryptofinancial

Categories
Hate

Geo and sp00k engage in flame war to win the affection of Chronicle staff

goldieofhawnTwo complete loser fans of the Chronicle.SU hijacked the comment section earlier today for an exchange of weak ass insults. The old woman, Spook, attacked soon-to-be-dropout Geo’s verifiable unwarranted self-importance while continuing to taunt Geo successfully using logical fallacies and immature insults. Geo struck back with his generalized righteous indignation, belittling Spook for her obvious lack of sophistication.

The Chronicle basked in hatred as the writers and editors absorbed the malice from this flame war like the emotional vampires we are. Hyper-aware that this is all just a pissing contest to win the Chronicle’s undying attention and respect, Chronicle staff was entirely indifferent, only interested in instigating the hatred via direct messages on Twitter.

Spook’s former Twitter handles were released to Geo and the US government via pointed tweets. Her paranoia was palpable. Geo quickly seized hold of this weakness and now appears to have the upper hand, chastising Spook for her homophobia as she continues to insist that Geo is in fact a faggot.

Both parties need to step it up and resort to the most desperate measures possible.

axisflip cryptofinancial

Categories
News

Infiltrators spoil Occupy movement


This video highlights all the different types of infiltrators.

Government plants have invaded the Occupy movement, and no, they are not just the Black Bloc vandals. These plants are screaming bloody murder about how incredibly peaceful they are as they thrash around and resist arrest. These provocateurs are doing a perfect job at ruining all the good intentions of the movement, disgracing what was once a peaceful protest. Rather than calmly sitting through arrests, provocateurs stage histrionic fits for news cameras and disgrace the otherwise peaceful protest.

Rather than broadcasting the many instances of excessive police force, the government has forced media to air these shameful “protesters” resisting arrest. These tantrums might appear to be the predictable behavior of spoiled first world middle class brats, but don’t be fooled. These are highly sophisticated agent provocateurs who know exactly how to best discredit the 99%.

1%er and Republican plant, Michael Moore, is touring from occupation to occupation, promoting his latest book and filming a new documentary. Anonymous has fired back with “#OpFatty,” threatening, and in true style, not following up with doxing of Moore. Andrew Breitbart, a Democrat plant, is feigning interest in #OpFatty because he is also a fatty and may find himself in the cross hairs of  Anonymous.