As we play the game of mortal life our Advanced Selves often become immersed in what is ultimately a Lone and Dreary World. I’ve withheld some of the most incredibly revealing secrets until this point in time. But now that it is clear that salvation will never come to man, there is no use in holding back the most powerful truths ever given […]
Author Archives: chronicle.SU
Kopimism: Theology or Theocracy?
The Church of Kopimism is now a state-recognized religion in Sweden, but is it grounded in spirituality and philosophy, or is it nothing more than a self-serving excuse for activity which is currently illegal? The following text was originally taken from the First United Church of Kopimism, US and has been commented in red Jesus […]
Bruno Mars gay
Has Bruno Mars come out of the closet?
Kilgore Trout whiteknights awesome Chronicle troll-action
Kilgore Trout stops Mason play dead in the water! DOUBLE OVERTIME
Chronicle editors to endure “hell gauntlet” of terrible writing
We’re hiring the fuck out of you.
Frank Mason dead at 25
New York City– It is our sad duty to inform you that longtime reporter and friend to chronicle.su, Frank Mason, has died. Mason was alone in his apartment Monday when his heart stopped amid one episodic panic attack. Because of his work and general nature, Mason was prone to anxiety attacks as many as four […]
Lil Wayne dead at 29
Lil Wayne, 29, died at his home in New Orleans Wednesday after overdosing on PCP.
Dating Advice: from Doctor Angstrom H. Troubedaur
When should you break it off in a relationship? How much is “too much?” The Chronicle’s Physician of the Weak, Doctor Angstrom H. Troubedaur has the answers.
Ava K Lamb Exclusive Report
Don’t be afraid to fall in love.
Th3j35t3r’s lie
On Sunday, Chronicle.SU was attacked by th3j35t3r, noteworthy Anonymous pedophile. On Wednesday, Chronicle.SU rose from the dead – kind of like Jesus over there, except this really happened. Now, while th3j35t3r is carrying out yet more superficial attacks on WikiLeaks, we’d like to share with the world exactly how petty and powerless this “jester” character […]