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You like what we tell you to like.

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I am 12 what is this? TL;DR, boaring Failgore

I wake up and go straight to the computer. I always go straight to the computer. It’s my only source for information aside from paperbacks. Call me an addict, but at least it’s not television.

No e-mails, no facebooks, not even any interesting news. I take a shit, but don’t shower and forget to brush my teeth. I make a sandwich on the dirty kitchen counter and eat it, crumbs falling  where they may. I get back on the computer and try to find something interesting on reddit.

I get to work late. I shape a bunch of animals out of wood. It doesn’t always feel like it, but I do have a nice life.

At work I listen to science fiction on audiobooks I have pirated with bit torrents. Everyone at work pirates now. I taught them how. I listen to a lot of cyberpunk books. I definitely consider myself a cyberpunk.

In High School, I declared cyber war against the administration and staff. I knew more Visual Basic than the Computer Science class taught, so I pwnd every assignment in the first five minutes and  fucked around for the remaining forty. I coded malicious software, played Tribes, rendered fractals. My teacher had helped create the very first Multi User Dungeon ever made. During class, he played it more than I played Tribes. I crashed the MUD server while he was playing it. I wrote a program that flooded the server with randomized new user data. Simple stuff. I don’t think such a great  teacher could ever bring himself to take away my computer priveleges, but that day he threatened to.

I tried to stay away from getting myself in trouble by keeping my antics at home. This did not work. I learned Flash from a pirated copy. Flash was a powerful thing and I didn’t have much trouble with it. The administration revoked the students’ privelege to carry backpacks in the hallways. I fired back with a flash video of a  backpack eating their faces like Pac Man eats cherries. The video spread like a virus, even among the teachers. I found myself having some very uncomfortable lulz. The reality of the situation was that I had somehow  shifted opinion so wildly that they gave backpack rights back. It was then that I got a taste for power.

I created a central hub that linked together different students’ web sites. I called it the Titan Underground because the school’s mascot was the Titan. Then we began to use this hub for Anonymously written stories about the school. It quickly and naturally became a slick Anonymous message board that most students posted on. I did not moderate it whatsoever. I suggest all Anons who are still students do the same thing. This is a fun thing to do in school.

Somebody eventually wrote a piece that was purely slanderous towards Ms. X, a pregnant English teacher. I had Ms. X for English and she always complimented and encouraged my writing. Somehow I  feel like better maternity leave for teachers would have resolved this entire situation before it ever happened. I don’t blame Ms. X for her reaction. She wanted to sue me for publishing slander. The Principal would have fired her if she had sued me, so I was saved from the lawsuit. Still, they put me through drug counseling and psychiatric evaluation as punishment. They had my whole web site printed and laid out on a table. It was surreal, shocking. I felt guilty and regarded as insane so I didn’t write again for years.

The Titan Underground became the Elf Wax Times which became Chronicle.su. Ten years have passed since I crashed the first MUD ever made as its creator played across the room. Now I’m older and even more rash. I’ve attacked Anonymous  and they’ve attacked me back. These fucking kids think I don’t understand Anonymous. Sure, it’s hard to draw an accurate picture of Anonymous. Anonymous is a voice we all have inside us that we are conditioned to never use.

2

I don’t really know how I ended up here, sanding turtle bodies out of wood. After high school I went to college for computer science and it didn’t really work out for me. I had trouble socializing with the rich kids and didn’t really have the focus to be a programmer anyway. I dropped out after 2 semesters. Eventually I moved to the country.

I still think of her sometimes when I’m working on turtles. There was a thing, with her and the turtle and me. I know it’s completely unhealthy, the way I still think about her after two years. The whole world knows now. Everyone knew before Anonymous even leaked my love letters anyway. I tend to let out my inner voice more than is appropriate. Even now! She was the only person to ever tell me to my face that something I wrote was fucked up. In a world of spineless television addicts, she used the voice we are taught to fear. She’d been expelled from high school for creating a fake Myspace of her gym teacher and using it to stir up rumors of sexual misconduct. How I loved her fearlessness!

My dealings with Anonymous started when I wrote an attack piece on AnonNews.org. I found their press releases stinking of ideology and lacking of content on any issue. It’s all propaganda written by some nut or another. The first article I wrote was partially serious and contained a lot of pointed criticism and a list of actionable ideas to improve AnonNews. These are all the things that Anons demand of anyone who begins to criticize them. Met with almost complete indifference, I gave up on Anonymous for a little while.

There is a key similarity between Anonymous and their arch-nemesis, Scientology. Like Scientology, Anonymous is kind of a science fiction cult. There is a recurring theme that Anonymous is a hyperconsciousness or a collective of minds that form an entity in cyber space. This is fantastic wording considering the reactionary nature of Anonymous. Unlike the individual mind, Anonymous does not plan for future outcomes or posess even a shred of self awareness. Anonymous reacts like a school of fish darting away from predators and homing in on food. This is a kind of consciousness that is below the level of any single individual.

This is roughly how Anonymous works.

When a hell of a lot of otherwise uninvolved people decided “Hey, Anonymous is a thing for me,” this is when the cult became something infectable. WikiLeaks released Cablegate and Anonymous saw a surge in these kind of recruits. These are impressionable young people who think they’re joining a hyperconsciousness by jumping on whatever DDoS bandwagon is arollin’. They’ve choked down some propaganda that’s no better than Fox News and behave like they’re members of the fucking Tea Party, infected with ideals. The only real way to get through to them is mockery.

It’s easy to mock a cult with no direction. Just call it irrelevant. When people have no personal reason why they’re doing what they’re doing, this kind of a statement will make them furious. Ideology (fwd to 2:30 for the lulz) clogs normally reasonable thought processes with rationalization. My article, “Why Anonymous is Completely Irrelevant,” evoked as much rationalization as it did ad hominems. Hyperconscious? No, definitely not. Anonymous has proved that to me by its own actions.

Manipulating Anonymous became a game to me. I showed everyone how awesomely easy it was to troll AnonNews and the trolls invaded. Comments and press releases were overrun with troll posts. Eventually, AnonNews became hardened to trolling. It is here that I have probably done my best service to Anonymous. My original criticism to AnonNews suggested more discretion in the posting of Press Releases. Now there is.

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The Superions

In a far away galaxy there was a small planet orbiting a small star. The planet was inhabited by a very successful creature that considered itself so intelligent as to be above all other life forms. They called themselves the Superions. The Superions had been able to harness fire for a very long time and made devices that used fire to do just about anything.

The Superions considered themselves more evolved than the other life forms on the planet despite the fact that all forms had evolved for the same amount of time from a single organism. A long time ago, a group of protoSuperions gathered around a fire and decided that they were no longer going to behave like the other life forms.

Competition drove all life to evolve and change, but Superions went mad with it. They killed eachother for fire and enslaved eachother out of what they called mercy. They delighted in driving large herds of Jerro-Jerro off of cliffs when they were able to consume or otherwise use no more than one percent of the deceased matter. Jerro-Jerro are now extinct. Superions built enormous fires of living vegetable matter to appease their Gods and prove time and time again that vegetable matter could not compete.

Superions created a scoring system in which each individual was rewarded points for successful acts of competition. These points were exchanged between Superions so that each individual could specialize in a certain field of competition and become very good at it. Some Superions were not very good at normal kinds of competition, so they began to compete at manipulating the point system itself. They took points from others in exchange for the service of transferring points and made a creative pursuit out of manipulating the points in their favor. This was called Freeism. Some Superions rejected Freeism and felt that the points would be better if distributed evenly. Those Superions who were made responsible for distributing the points of course gave as many as they could to themselves. This was called Sharism.

The Sharists called the Freeists greedy, and the Freeists called the Sharists crooked. They were both right. Different Superions simply used different ideas to trick eachother into giving away their points. Superions who gathered points for the sake of gathering points never gave them away at all except in efforts to gain more points. The most effective type of competition was to find a region of the planet where Superions were generally disliked by Superions from other regions. Sharists and Freeists disliked eachother, and both had gained many points. With clever exploitation of this enmity and an appropriate application of their points, they made and lost points to each other many times. Billions of Superions died thinking they were fighting for Freeism or Sharism and did not realize they were only trying to gain points for their masters.

One day, a smart Superion realized that the Superions with most of the points were not successful at any real kind of competition. They were just criminal tricksters who would rather see the world die than stop acquiring points. A long time later, a smarter Superion realized that he must also be a trickster in order to fix this broken point system. He sat down and spent the most important half hour of Superion history writing a story about aliens called Humans in a far away galaxy with the ridiculous name of Milky Way. Humans had a thing called money, very similair to the Superion point system. The Human beings in his story used their money to create a new kind of fire that was much more effective and dangerous. He absurdly called this new kind of fire Nuclear Fission. Humans could eradicate entire regions of Earth with less money than ever before. The Humans with a lot of money bought so many Nuclear Fission devices that they inevitably destroyed themselves in an effort to take money from each other. A lot of Superions read this story and eventually decided to create a limit to the point system. No Superion could ever get more than a certain amount of points. They were still able to gain a lot of points, but not enough to destroy themselves like those stupid made up Humans.

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The Legion of 2021

The Legion was once a young collective, a hivemind not yet awakened to true consciousness. The Legion acted as a kind of international provocateur that fed on reactions. It grew and the world around it grew also. Mobile phones that could access the internet and take video made dictatorships an intolerable thing of the past. First to those in the Muslim world, then later to those in greater Africa, and eventually to those in South America.
When all was said and done, the upheaval in the Middle East had one net effect on the global balance of power: The United States and Europe lost all their influence except in Israel and Iraq. Despite a technological edge that prevented a mire such as Vietnam, holding power in Afghanistan was simply too difficult. The people were loyal to local warlords who took power whenever the opportunity presented itself. Applying the kind of overhwelming force that was necessary to destroy all opposition was too expensive in a place that had so little to offer for reward.
The genocide that followed these events was simply the crystallization of all the influence that European powers had failed to maintain. Israel used a nuclear weapon on Iran. Iran responded by invading Iraq. The world could not ignore the videos of Iranian troops marching into Iraq, greeted as liberators. The propagandists in the West spun these events in favor of Israel, creating a fantasy that Israel only hoped to pre-empt Iran’s actions decisively. For a small period of time this actually seemed to work.
Yet the world had changed beyond the scope of Israel’s aging leadership. They had failed utterly to pre-empt the true threat to their power. The genesis to a fully aware and active populace in America and Europe had reached what some have now dubbed a “singularity”. There was no hiding the true intentions of Israel.
In the past, attempts to provide inside information revealing the true intentions of governments and multi-national corporations were easily undermined and discredited. Trusted media shared interests with both the government and corporations in quieting these operations. Attacks on their credibility were all too easily manufactured and widely believed.
At the same time, The Legion was slowly building an infrastructure of highly unlocalized and redundant communications systems. These had grown naturally out of anonymous image boards, where users met to share interesting images of all kinds. At first, these systems were used to orchestrate online pranks that required the participation of hundreds or thousands. Out of these small beginnings a righteous subculture was born that realized how politically effective the collective could one day be. Prank slowly evolved into protest and this was the birth of The Legion.
The Legion gained massive attention from their provocations and new users flooded in. Thousands became tens of thousands. There was a flow of new ideas and despite some resistance from the more acculturated participants, good ideas stuck. This was just the nature of The Legion. The influx of newbies wanted more action and sooner. Democratic systems began to organize and focus the collective into more meaningful and popular action.
Old media outlets began to publish exaggerated and alarmist pieces in an attempt to stir up fear and opposition against the Legion, mistaking it for a conspiracy and not recognizing it as a collective. The focused, righteous, and effective actions spoke for The Legion and The Legion found sympathizers everywhere. Members of the media came forward with inside information that revealed how the attacks on The Legion were purposefully contrived to skew the truth. Members of the government brought proof that they were in collusion with the media and other corporations. People stopped trusting traditional news sources and The Legion became the most powerful and popular outlet for news.
The Legion’s most important and defining achievement was to completely undermine Israel one month after Tehran was turned into a glass crater. The documents on Israel that The Legion publicized were known as the Genocide Torrent. The source remains Anonymous to this day. Consisting of the correspondences of the highest ranking officials in the Israeli government and military, the Genocide Torrent was ridiculed by corporate media as imaginative fiction, but the tactic no longer applied to such an aware populace. Within days, America withdrew all support for Israel and condemned their actions. The ghetto-states of former Palestine revolted and marched on Jerusalem. The entire world celebrated the fall of a second Berlin Wall. In the streets, there was a final and moving show of grief for the massacre in Tehran, now a holy city of Martyrs.
Meanwhile, The Legion celebrated behind their computers in the only way they knew how: +1, Lulz.