One local farmer says ‘Society ain’t no good anymore’

“It just ain’t worth havin’,” says a farmer. An area farmer is under fire after suggesting society serves “really no purpose” and – in his words – is “just there to fuck with my shit.” The church struck back Saturday as Newport area Reverend Reggie Pollops announced Operation Black Sabbath, a plan to end nihilistic […]

This man can’t believe how good PCP is on first time trying it

“I feel so good I could throw someone through a fence!” announced Gerald Davis, moments after smoking PCP for his very first time, and just before getting behind the wheel of a friend’s 2001 Honda Accord. Police in Roanoke, Virginia reported that a driver high on PCP bailed out of the moving car on Brambleton […]

Man struggles to answer ‘whose baby?’

RICHMOND, Va. – A Richmond man found himself puzzled Tuesday by the question, “whose baby?” when posited by his eccentric uncle. “He just came out of the bathroom and said it,” Jim Callahan, a Richmond SEO analyst, said. “He said, ‘whose baby?’ And I didn’t know what to say.” Dr. Angstrom H. Talkenlaut, professor emeritus […]