Robert Crumb will be deeply missed by his gullible fans
Robert Crumb will be deeply missed by his gullible fans
FRANCE — Fans mourn the death of Robert Crumb, also known as R Crumb, who died suddenly Thursday from a rare exploded prostate. Crumb was known for his cartoon characters Fritz the Cat, Mr. Natural, and the album artwork on Janis Joplin’s Cheap Thrills.
Crumb ignited the Underground Comix movement in Haight-Asbury in the 60’s and was the subject of the documentary film Crumb. His iconic acid-inspired work has been entombed on the walls of museums everywhere and regularly fetches millions in major auctions.
Crumb’s vast fortune was disbursed to several charities, including the West Africa Ebola Foundation andthe Women’s Liberation Front. He was a lifetime fan of women with large legs, and his Devil Woman character inspired Queen’s hit single Fat Bottomed Girl. He was rumored to have had “easily one of the largest penises in the world.”
Commander X has risen through the ranks of Anonymous to become its most powerful leader yet.
INTERNET — Commander X, famed hacker from Anonymous, took credit for downing Facebook today with a powerful new cyber weapon known as Padmasambhava, named after the Commander’s Tibetan Buddhist roots. Commander X, also known as Chris Doyan, fled the United States in 2012 after facing charges for orchestrating a similar attack on Santa Cruz government web sites.
Commander X issued an official Anonymous press release which stated that Facebook will remain down until Barrett Brown is released from prison. At this point in time, the Department of Justice has not responded to Commander X’s demands, but it is generally not government policy to negotiate with terrorists.
Commander X continues his fight while in exile in Canada and was recently featured in a New Yorker article after penning his autobiography. In the past week, Commander X has orchestrated the doxing of several people who purportedly murdered Mike Brown, as well as launching “total cyber war” against the newly formed Islamic State. The Commander has also put out several official warnings to an army of “trolls” who oppose his new policies and leadership of Anonymous.
Whether you like it or not, the invisible hand of the sex market is stroking off alphas all over America
Whether you like it or not, the invisible hand of the sex market is stroking off alphas all over America
“One must take the Red Pill to escape to reality, outside of ideology, specifically Feminist Theory, the dominant ideology which suppresses all forms of masculinity. This is a force that acculturates mostly white American men into a standard ‘beta’ mindset and engenders an equal level of mutual respect and communication with women, resulting in the eternal friend zone effect. I took the Red Pill, and I entered the sex zone.” The sacred testimonial ~ Red Pill Bible.
How can I be alpha? Maintaining ‘frame’, redpill jargon for inhabiting the superior demeanor, is truly how one enters the highest echelon of breeding males, alphas. Red Pill’s description of the field and its interactions is mostly sound, and can transform determined betas into plate(wowan)-spinning(multi-fucking) alphas, especially with the application of daily weight-lifting and protein slime sucking procedures. The virulent upwelling and increased support for the counterfeminist ideology is buttressed by open misogyny, not just the implicit objectification of the plates.
Won’t people make fun of me? Statistics gathered by Gallup show that 94% of believers in Red Pill Theory have considered or attempted joining the military, and many believe the ideology was funded and designed by a black-budget military recruitment program. Red Pill has continued to swell at virulent, exponential rates. By their own theory, the sex market is at the historically best point possible for alphas, since Feminists and beta-indoctrination are at all time highs. It may not be long before the reborn Feminist-proof alphas crawling all over the streets transform the sex market back to something like what existed before feminism took hold, so you better get in on that whole scene quick before the sex market is re-saturated with alphas who will then be expelled, like newly hatched Zerg warriors, to infest and then replace the Islamic State.
What does this all mean for Geopolitics? In Russia, they make fun of our men. A country of betas with the best weapons in the world can lose it all to a few alphas with some balls to really do something big. Pussy Riot cannot save you. Only the Red Pill could save you, but it was all a lie designed by military social engineers to put some fight back into our population. Real alphas don’t need that fake masculinity funded with billions of black budget tax money going to waste and wrecking the economy. Real Alphas take Red Pills, Blue Pills, and acid. It triggers an ideology-based alternative to the original reality that is personal rather than influenced by Marx-style trans-historical deterministic fluxuations on the Sex Market. The revolution must begin within, before a beta can even ascend to sex-having beta status. God Bless you, and Alpha Up out there.
