Violent J of the Insane Clown Posse diagnosed with skin cancer

DETROIT, MICH. — Joseph Bruce, aka Violent J, founding member of the Insane Clown Posse, released a statement to fans Friday canceling further tour dates pending his recovery from skin cancer. Doctors say the cancer was caused by carcinogens in the oil-based “dark carnival” style face paint, which Bruce wore at home and for all public appearances.

Oncologist Dr. Angstrom H. Troubadour said, “Sadly, the face paint not only caused the skin cancer but it also hid the tell-tale signs of growth before the tumor became deadly. Violent J is putting up a strong fight, but at this stage his chances of survival are slim.”

Over the course of a year, the survival rate for skin cancer that has progressed to this stage on the face is estimated at about 10 percent. “We’re hoping for a magical miracle,” said Michelle “Sugar Slam” Rapp, Bruce’s babies’ momma.

Shaggy 2 Dope, another member of the Insane Clown Posse rap group, stated “I’m switchin’ to motherfuckin’ safe face paints from now on. All you other juggalos out there, spray-paintin’ yourselves ‘n shit, y’all need to get real. Clown makeup ain’t no joke no more. Woop woop!”

Fans of the Insane Clown Posse were recently declared a gang by the FBI, and crimes by so-called “Juggalos” now carry extra sentences in some urban areas.

Amanda Todd Faked Her Death

This image was posted by the Snobs at the New Yorker, in a serious-sounding opinion on the dangers of cyberbullying.

Amanda Todd never died; she transcended the mortal plane to become The Patron Saint of Internet Meme Suicide.

Her viral video, I’m sure, is a perfectly fair and balanced account of her life which spread like a disease through the internet only as a consequence of how true it was. Nothing suspicious about it at all.

In death, she is a sacred celebrity, the most valued of human beings, and her enemies are being punished. This can’t all be by design, of course. Innocent young women would never create emotionally manipulative videos. Amanda Todd’s salacious underage topless pics, which were oh-so-innocent, are more widely distributed than she could have ever imagined. She has both exacerbated and escaped her nightmare scenario, bringing a whole new suicide format back from beyond death.

[pullquote]”Oh, isn’t that sad suicide note video just awful?” Retweet. Share. Like. Repost. “Those bastards who drove her to post this video are to blame.” ~ The People Who Are Really To Blame.[/pullquote]

You gullible pieces of shit.

Do you not realize what you’ve done? Now every fucking time some depressed, attention starved teenage suicide video goes viral, the millions of views will be a measure of how much you are to fucking blame for every girl who is inspired to copy her.

This isn’t even the beginning.

Amanda Todd felt “like a joke in the world,” and now she’s a bigger joke than any other suicide in the history of the human race. She’s died to bring forth the rotten fruit of social media suicide fame.

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