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Trendspotting the swine: Content is out of fashion!

A billion swine filling Times Square, eating, shitting, pissing, and cumming into a communal stainless steel toilet trough where everything is crushed and mixed under hoof. The one and only feed is styrofoam.

Content is shitty

We’re all sick to death of content. Sure, it was fresh idea ten years ago, but now? Content is shitty! The very word just means filler.

I can say some good things about content. The thumbnails and clickbait are impeccable.

Do you like eating styrofoam all day, every day? You really feel humiliated by your own media diet, don’t you? You pathetic piece of shit.

The internet is supposed to be some infinite wellspring of all human knowledge, and yet here we are, chewing on foam and finding it’s all so depressing and interchangeable, and there’s never enough of it to satisfy.

The Internet brought us all together, just like a monkey’s paw. Here we all are, oozing around in this styrofoam sludge and tearing at each other like swine. There is no trough and no toilet, just a giant tub with no drain.

Trendspotting

Hating is the new hot trend for 2022, so find a popular megastreamer and just troll, troll, troll until their career collapses from unpopularity. Do it to a youtuber you don’t like. By April there will be more haters than fans. Watch for several communist accounts to rise in popularity through hating and themselves be cycled into the cancelled object of hate by September.

In other trends, the term ‘self-care’ is going out early this season, in favor of ‘cumming.’ Use of the word ‘cum’ in many new senses will continue to increase, peaking big time in the heat of summer and clinging on until winter, where it will be used regularly in common household language for all generations of Americans.

Anticontent

Finally, we will see some articles about Anticontent pop up in the fashion and technology media late in the year. Anticontent will be largely conflated with the rise of Haters.

The common deployment of terms like ‘AI,’ and ‘algorithms’, to describe social media are purposefully obscuring discussion. The anticontentista uses clarifying metaphors, particularly architectural, in order to criticize the way in which social media selects and presents information. This metaphor, cyberspace, was first coined by William Gibson.

Anticontent ultimately seeks towards a cyberspace architecture analogous to a library, rather than the sensational Times Square shit trough design of the typical social media platform.

Anticontentistas observe many varying individual practices, such as refusing to carry a smartphone or use social media devices in public. It is a matter of individual moral choice. Most anticontentistas are artists, and there is no taboo about posting original works, utilizing their own clickbait, or becoming wildly popular. What anticontent hates most is the repost, the topic of the day, the trend-hoppers, the mere scent of the shit trough of The Swine.

Swine Theory

Swine Theory was first created by Hunter S. Thompson when describing the herd-like gluttony of Americans, and it has since been perpetually rehabilitated and built upon by Jesse and Alissa of the Pure Living For Life youtube channel.

Where are the greener pastures for the swine of the internet? The cummy toilet trough of sociopathic media and its demonic squealing and squirming doesn’t contain its herd with barbed wire.

By dropping their own foul diarrhea in the trough, haters spoil the whole mix, giving it an off flavor that most swine detest. However, the mere scent draws more haters in, and there will be a runaway ‘shitstain’ effect where haters drive out the fans, this effect was first described by Jesse of Pure Living for Life.

The most dedicated anticontentistas follow in the example of Jesse, wearing “shitstain” t-shirts in public, showing off their hatred and admiration for swine by dividing themselves with a brown line down the middle of the shirt. Often the shirts, called ‘shitstains’, are made out of the merchandise from their most hated content creators, and sometimes even marked with real fecal matter.

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World

Lebal Drocer, Inc. promises to stop whipping slaves in factories by 2024

DHAKA, Bangladesh — Atop a smelly pit, where tired women toil within dangerous textile machinery, armed foremen in mirror-visored helmets patrol a catwalk, overlooking the commotion and mire. All are contracted by the equally faceless conglomerate Lebal Drocer International.

Abortion by Lebal Drocer, Inc.
An uncomfortable chat between staff and management.

It is a normal Wednesday on the South Asian Padma Delta, which fell under corporate control at the height of the pandemic this summer. Now, more than ever, workers are endangered as the rigid, socially conservative, and brutally enforced edicts of Lebal Drocer threaten to choke the region.

Lebal Drocer associates are forced, unpaid, and punished for quitting.

Enabled by the supremacy of corporate philosophy, physical and sexual abuse in Lebal Drocer properties runs rampant, ranging from bamboo canings in Bangladeshi clothing factories, to cutting off hands, and inappropriate goosing among executive officers.

In an about-face of policy, however, the company’s CEO and spokesman, Raleigh Sakers, said during a book-signing tour that he aims to eradicate the corporal punishment of international slaves under his control by the year 2024.

Source: lebal-drocer.com

Raleigh T. Sakers

A face for the faceless

“I guess it was white boy summer, after all.”

“We like to create a culture that keeps people healthy and safe,” Sakers said, “so managers often work in uncomfortably close quarters with their slaves.”

Sakers says the poor are there to be used and, if needed, abused in the pursuit of his own murky ambitions.

“I still think of them as peons, even today,” Sakers said, “because they’re the people I pee on. Pretty easy to remember.”

Meanwhile, in America

It’s no quadruple venti latte back home, either. Workers are forced to wear diapers to keep up with robots, the robots are setting drinks on our nice hardwood furniture, and podcasts do not last an entire work day.

Although emerging political leaders like Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez support unionizing as a solution to corporate tyranny, and left-wing publications like Jacobin promote it, the abundance of material effort required to unionize has been placed on the backs of the tired, underpaid, and presently consumed laborers currently “employed” by Lebal Drocer, Inc.

Everyone who's not too busy agrees with Bhaskar Sunkara on the issues.
Everyone who’s not too busy agrees with Bhaskar Sunkara on the issues.

Bhaskar Sunkara is the founding editor and publisher of Jacobin. While avoiding eye contact with Internet Chronicle in the otherwise empty office overlooking Dumbo, Sunkara said the left works hard, but maybe not hard enough to preserve their right to work.

“They were at work when we came up with the idea,” Sunkara said, “but we thought it would be great if they stood up to their tyrannical bosses and unionized.”

Dismissing several iPhone notifications, Sunkara looked up for a moment.

“Hey…could you tell them for me?”

There has been no word yet as to how Lebal Drocer plans to implement anti-whipping measures in overseas factories, but sources inside the company say they have issued new guidelines restricting the misuse of the cat-o-nine-tails, washing mouths out with soap, and the word tarnation.

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INTERNET SENSATION CHRIS-CHAN FOUND DEAD IN HENRICO COUNTY JAIL CELL AFTER APPARENT SUICIDE

Chris Chan died of an apparent suicide, Saturday, after being placed in a misgendered jail cell.

INTERNET — Fans mourn the loss of Christine Weston Chandler AKA “Chris-Chan,” after she was found dead in a Henrico County jail cell from an apparent suicide. Chris Chan was misgendered and placed in the male section of the jail by the prison staff.

Chris-Chan rose to fame after creating Sonichu, a character which is a combination of video game icons Pikachu and Sonic.

Fans held a vigil outside of Chris-Chan’s residence in “CWCville.”

Frederika Dumont told reporters, “I am one hundred percent on this: They Epstein’d CPU Blueheart Sonichu [Chris-Chan] to prevent the dimensional merge. It was almost here but now the herald has been assassinated. We mourn not only for CPU Blueheart, but for the failure of the dimensional merger. Chris-Chan will live on, on the other side, inside of Sonichu’s immortal body.”

Followers of Chris-Chan considered the former body of Chris-Chan to be inhabited by a feminine manifestation of “Sonichu” known as CPU Blueheart. The arrival of CPU Blueheart was only the first setp in the merger of fiction and reality which will purge all evil out of this world.

“Sonichu just doesn’t understand this reality… She’s gone mad with power after entering into the body of such a famous person, and what happened with Barb, it was a misunderstanding,” Dumont said. “You try living inside of this dimension, and following its norms, after you’ve spent a millennia as the icon of a wish-fulfillment fantasy world!”