WASHINGTON — Thursday, Hillary Clinton was spotted pacing the halls of the state department, furiously pounding away at the reset button in an attempt to reset relations with Russia.
Sergei Lavrov was not present at Hillary’s button pressing, but was indeed grim faced, still in Russia, where he told reporters “Hillary is no longer the Secretary of State and when I originally pressed the reset button, I didn’t even mean it.”
Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of the Economy at the Military Industrial Complex, forced a narrative upon the mainstream media in response to the pressing, saying “Hillary’s going around honking that thing like it’s gonna stop the sky from falling. It’s worth a try. No one really knows what’s inside that button, but it could be hitting people with Havana Syndrome. Maybe even Putin. How’s that one grab ya? Side thought, what about that Havana Syndrome? You think they’d just give all the Ukrainians a migraine and move in already!”