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A close look at celebrity corruption.

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Politics

QAnon Leaks: Trump leverages second report to pressure Attorney General Sessions to stop Mueller probe ‘right now’

Trump and Bobby Mueller colluding? It’s more likely than you think!

WASHINGTON, D.C. — A prescient Donald Trump scanned his audience at a rally in Tampa on Tuesday. He was greeted by his own underground army: QAnon. He beamed out into the crowd. They saw each other.

Even CNN admits the Russia investigation is a sham. It’s actually a cover story for special counsel Robert “Bobby” Mueller and Donald Trump working together to expose thousands of pedophiles hidden in plain sight. Hillary, Bill — even Barry Hussein — soon will ALL be under arrest!

Cryptic messages from proven hacker and Trump-insider QAnon suggest the reason Barack Obama is laying low since leaving office is out of fear for his reputation, as the QAnon leaks close in around him, strangling the extravagant lifestyle afforded to him by insurance companies, as repayment for that time he forced Americans to buy shitty insurance.

The GOP may have lost the Alabama special election for Jeff Sessions’ Senate seat on purpose: Where do you think President Trump picked up his flair for 4-D chess?

The plan was cooked up years ago out of Sessions’ desire to reveal the use of fraudulent voting machines, improving the integrity of future American elections. His plan expanded to include the removal of conspiracy power players such as George Soros, the Bilderberg Group, and the entire Illuminati.

Experts call the plan ambitious, but leaders in the field believe Sessions, together with the President, can pull it off (with a little help from a friend). Chief Political Strategist for the George McGovern campaign, Dr. Armstrong, F. Troubadaexeur, said the White House is calm and collected as they move their pieces into checkmate against enemies like Mexico, who would deflower, debase and subjugate our sweet land of liberty.

“I know the President said Jeff Sessions should stop Bob Mueller, and all that,” Troubadaexeur said. “I know he talks a lot about TV ratings. But probably what I know, more than all that, is everything – and I mean, everything – is going just as Father Trump intended it.”

QAnon

The Storm

QAnon is the force looking out for America. A cabal of global elites, including top figures in Hollywood and TV, the Democratic Party, and various intelligence agencies, are responsible for ALL the evil in the world. And now Trump is going to fix it all with thousands of sealed indictments. Hillary and Obama will WISH they closed Guantanamo Bay after the President is finished with them. And QAnon makes all this possible.

The QAnon report’s anticlimax did little to slow down QAnon Fever, which has gripped audiences and taken the nation by storm. That is why it’s called The Storm. That’s because Trump possesses another OIG report that would bring down his enemies (who are, by extension, our enemies) once and for all. The second report proves the FBI, Justice Department and top Democrats broke laws in a miserly effort to prevent Trump from taking power. Now, QAnon says, Trump need only release it.

Sweet Release

QAnon called on the President and Sessions to end the Witch Hunt, and dismantle Mueller’s apparatus of injustice.

“The president is not obstructing,” White House Press Secretary Sanders said. “He is fighting back.”

[EDITOR’S NOTE, chronicle.su: REPORTS INDICATE THE WHITE HOUSE FOUND A PRESS SECRETARY THEY CAN KEEP]

As conditions worsen, release of the second QAnon report becomes more imminent. Time is running out.

QAnon could soon set his sights on Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein, who has defended Mueller against accusations in Congress.

QAnon did not respond to numerous, repeated attempts for comment. He is invited to call in live Wednesday, August 1, at 11:30 p.m. Hate Radio guest call-in line: (917) 675-4836

This message is brought to you proudly by Lebal Drocer, Inc.

What about Seth Rich though?
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Politics

Trump’s first visit to home town of New York City met with [glorious praise]

DADDY IS HOME

President Trump returned home Thursday, for the first time since becoming national daddy.

Thousands of demonstrators appeared at the Intrepid military museum, a decommissioned warship docked in lower Manhattan, where President Trump met right-wing Australian Prime Minister Malcolm “X” Turnbull.

Continue reading “Trump’s first visit to home town of New York City met with [glorious praise]”
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Politics

Ye fiyad: Steve Bannon terminated when adults enter Oval Office

Throughout his life and career, Steve Bannon practiced looking old. “And then one day,” he said, “it just happened.

WASHINGTON, D.C.–Globalist hologram Donald Trump, who simply could not pass up last week’s opportunity for “biggest termination yet,” held a private White House ceremony, where the Trump cabinet bore witness to the “degrading, pathetic and shameful” termination of Steve Bannon, the parrot who fed Trump talking points about issues ranging from global warming to isolationist policy.

The media is hush on reasons behind Bannon’s possible firing. No one is ready to talk about it, but some have acknowledged it has a “you done fucked up, son” sort of vibe about it.

One source, however, discussed the ceremony under the condition of anonymity, because of their close association with the current administration’s line of executive, jewel-encrusted cat litter boxes, and because the media should keep its mouth shut.

“They took Stevie to the back first,” the source told Internet Chronicle on Saturday. “I don’t know what they done to him, but when Stevie came out, he looked like he’d been touched, sexually, by an angel. It was beautiful.”

The source told Internet Chronicle nude figures in hooded cloaks surrounded Bannon, chanting the DOW Industrial Average in realtime as they closed in on him.

“Then they pulled up the sheets they were wearing, they squatted down, and took turns defecating on his face,” the source said. “One by one, ExxonMobil executives and defense contractors took turns dehumanizing the little old feller until he refused to talk. They were yelling at him, too, going, ‘Money [T]rumps ideology!’ It really worked us all up into a sympathy for him, after it was over.”

The source said there is no way to tell whether the corrective Oval Office ceremony will have any lasting effect on Bannon’s mental health, but already, other radical media personalities are feeling the sting of timeout, as Adults from the Government entered the room.

Alex Jones descended into an uncharacteristic tirade last week, when it looked like White House access could leave with Steve Bannon. All the toys were out, when the Daddies got home.

“It was balls out, man. Balls out.”

Trump is playing the quiet game, now that it looks like crazy baby missiles can hit California. Un awaits…