Category: Society

Aww, look! They think they’re people!

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Society

‘Trigger Warnings’ added to VCU college acceptance paperwork

Richmond, Va. — Knowledge is power and it must be checked, according to gender studies undergraduates at Virginia Commonwealth University in Richmond, Virginia who say the material to which the university has exposed them triggers PTSD relating to past incidences of vicious cyberbullying they have experienced in their lives.

The young womyn, who have asked not to be named because capital pronouns impose prejudice, say the “mental rape” they endure from their VCU education even violates the sanctity of the controversial and rarely cited Title IX anti-rape law that makes rape in a place of learning extra bad.

Humanity’s history of war, genocide and slavery challenge the precious and unique nature of VCU’s fragile, recovering victims of the patriarchy. And it could happen to you, says one womyn.

“I was raped by Troilus and Criseyde’s codependency,” the person said. “Criseyde lived under the patriarchy and Chaucer, whose name is the root word of chauvinism, killed Troilus just to make Criseyde look bad. She had no choice but to cheat on Troilus. The patriarchy cheated on itself, if you ask me.”

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Uncontrollable Patriotism

ISIS: American Patriots

Rawdah Abdisalaam
Rawdah Abdisalaam left journalism school to pursue a future in American servitude, by joining ISIS.

DENVER, Colo.– ISIS recruit Rawdah Abdisalaam’s twitter account is suspended and none of it is archived anywhere. Considering the United States manufactured #ISIS by bombing Middle Easterners’ homes (after manufacturing their predecessors by arming Afghans who fought against the Soviet Union), it seems like the best thing we could have in response would be their side of the story – at least for laughs, right?

Nope, suspended. We get shitty Newscorp interpretations of events like it’s always been. You know who #ISIS ultimately serves? Lockheed-Martin and Boeing, war machine manufacturers who knew this would happen and worked closely with policy makers to ensure when it does happen, their toys will be purchased even if the budget shrinks. The Pentagon budget has shrunk so much though, they’re now selling war toys to Saudi Arabia for bombing Yemen, and things will continue in that pattern for a while.

ISIS exists to perpetuate a cycle of American profit. Everything they do is to an American company’s profit, especially Boeing and Lockheed-Martin. Although they won’t admit it publicly, this girl who joined ISIS is a “fucking patriot” when they look at what she and her new sand-friends are doing for American bank accounts.

This war is brought to you proudly by Lebal Drocer, Inc. We own everything that matters.

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Categories
Status Quo

Supernormatives ‘weren’t happy’ with homocentric Chronicle narrative

Dr. Angstrom H. Troubedaur
Dr. Angstrom H. Troubadour came under fire when he said Germanwings passengers were “asking for it.”

An Internet psychologist came under fire Wednesday after a controversial news story went viral in which he was quoted saying the Germanwings atrocity was society’s fault.

The Germanwings disaster, Troubadour said, was attributed to co-pilot Andreas Lubitz’s internalization of society’s anal fixation on normalcy, a 21st Century social disease Troubadour calls “supernormality.”[pullquote]”Just look at his dead eyes,” Schandling said. “Look at his dude-stare.[/pullquote]

This, and certainly other normal social pressures in the workplace, triggered the supernormal state in which many school shootings and other murder-suicide plots unfold — a psychological terrain that most contemporary psychology cannot distinguish from so-called sanity until the violence is already done.

Angstrom H. Troubadour

Experts have alleged Dr. Troubadour, who is already currently embroiled in a damaging peer-review scandal, could be receiving funding from a secret homonormative source.

Germanwings co-pilot "just a good old boy," Troubadour says.
Germanwings co-pilot “just a good old boy,” Troubadour says.

Sociologist Larry Schandling of the Internet Chronicle Institute of Common Law said documents show Troubadour received recurring payments between the months of October 2014 and March 2015, presumably to generate case studies which validate and propagate a fiendish homosexual agenda.

“Just look at his dead eyes,” Schandling said. “Look at his dude-stare. Look at it.”

Schandling said Troubadour needs to check his privilege, every single day.