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Religion Technology

ISIS issues Fatwa against Reddit

The Caliph of the Islamic State issued a Fatwa against Reddit.
The Caliph of the Islamic State issued a Fatwa against Reddit.

INTERNET—Caliph Ibrahim al-Badri al-Samarrai of the Islamic State issued a Fatwa against Reddit after a user known as “jewishvirgin” posted an insulting depiction of the prophet Muhammed.

The founder of Islam was drawn crudely as a pig defecating rainbows, his face covered in phalluses.

Pigs are not eaten by adherents to most Islamic traditions, and Christians have demonized Muslim leaders with accusations of homosexuality since the medieval age. The Caliph promised to hunt down and behead any Redditors captured within the Islamic State’s territory.

Other more moderate Islamic clerics and Christian religious leaders denounced the cartoon, expressing outrage at Reddit’s snide and divisive humor.

Emir Ibn-Al Rahman told reporters, “The Islamic world is more angered and outraged by ISIS than the Christian world, and this kind of a thing only further divides Christians and Muslims.”

Pope Francis grew angry when commenting on the cartoon, even growling as he said, “I’ve reactivated the inquisition, and any Catholic who shares or promotes this material or anything like it will find themselves excommunicated.”

Internet sociologist and expert on trolling culture, Dr. Cecilia Darwin, said, “Such offensive humor used to be relegated to more seedy corners of the Internet such as 4chan, but it seems Reddit has increasingly grown into a hate machine beyond anyone’s wildest imagination, perhaps officially ushering in an age of ceaseless religious wars that will be increasingly spurned on by trolls.”

Shifting her glasses and shaking nervously, Dr. Darwin added, “They should know that conflict trolling is no laughing matter, and that people will die because of this harmful joke.”

UPDATE: After news of the Fatwa reached moderators of /r/funny and /r/WTF, the offensive threads and links to the image were removed from Reddit.

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Religion Uncontrollable Patriotism

Fraught Historic Parallel stokes Islamophobia for America’s Left

Is the Islamic State religious? Are they just like the Spanish Inquisition?
Is the Islamic State religious? Are they just like the Spanish Inquisition?

INTERNET—Yet another anti-religious scientist columnist slipped miserably in a fraught attempt to deploy a historic parallel to back up his point of view. Jerry A. Coyne, of New Republic, veered into the perilous field of theology in his unfortunately entitled opinion piece, If ISIS Is Not Islamic, then the Inquisition Was Not Catholic. This mildly Islamophobic tract, which criticizes Obama and others for declaring that the Islamic State is not Islamic, proposes the absurd and wrong parallel with the Catholic tradition of inquisitions but doesn’t touch at all on the history.

The most infamous and brutal inquisitions were not at all endorsed or carried out by the Catholic church, but rather enforced independently by practitioners of statecraft in the Machiavellian political spirit, especially Ferdinand and Isabella. Ironically, giving flesh to the titular parallel would undo Coyne’s position that the Islamic State is indeed motivated by religion and instead seems to point towards the Islamic State as a bare political power grab using religion only so far as it is politically useful.

Coyne’s ironically problematic titling aside, the basis of his theological argument is that there is no such thing as true religion and that Obama and others are calling “false” on the Islamic State only because it conflicts with their personal view of what a “true” Islam should look like. Never mind the centuries of Islamic scholarship that could be brought in to compare to that of the Islamic State, it is simple enough for Coyne to dismiss religion as a field of meaninglessness where without a true or a false we’re left with pessimistic political speech from the likes of Obama.

Coyne’s theology says that if there were such a thing as a true religion, its holy texts should appeal to the same kind of truth as science. That is, the historic literalism of some fundamentalists who believe a seminal text to be true history are on the right track but fail only because they do not possess true history. This is troubling because it affirms the interpretations of religions that transfer best into the political ideologies, the kind that are ruining the public school system in America and inspiring Islamic terrorists.

Coyne also says that all religion is worse than false, it is irrational, implying that only science can be true or false, or rational. He mixes blood libels against Islam — the usual genital mutilation, et al. — with recurring bugaboos from American political struggles such as abortion. In this way, he transfers frustrations of America’s left from the right’s still growing religious impulse over to the Islamic State, and this way aligns the left with the right in their fear and hate for the Islamic State.

It is beyond depressing to watch this kind of warmongering Islamophobia work its way through America’s left like a virulent salve soothing the guilt of perpetual war on the Muslim world.

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Politics Uncontrollable Patriotism

Scotland’s failed bid for independence defrauded by Illuminati

INTERNET—Friday, Scotland lost its bid for independence as a majority of the country allegedly voted ‘No’ to independence. Analysts were astounded as social media clearly showed a strong preference for ‘Yes’ votes. In addition, photographs clearly displaying rampant voting fraud were circulated widely across the globe. Some reported that police stormed into a polling station and seized many handfuls of ballots.

The evidence of the fraud was not even hidden but rubbed in our faces, and this fits the exact behavior profile of the global elites. No matter if you call them the Illuminati, the Bilderbergers, Bohemian Grove, or the UN, the last thing they want happening is smaller empires.

They want everything bigger, and in Scotland people tried to resist. As always, the elites are laughing in our faces. Their global empire won’t be stopped by something as easily corrupted as democracy.