Scientists create MUTANT enzyme that recycles news headlines “in hours”

INTERNET — If it sounds too good to be true, that’s because it came from Lebal Drocer Laboratories. A mutant amoebic enzyme that breaks down news content for recycling has been created by scientists working tirelessly at Lebal Drocer Laboratories in Van Nuys. The enzyme, originally discovered in the garbage outside the home of deceased […]

Twitter squashes profit bug that “protected users”

INTERNET — At long last, Twitter has removed a petulant privacy bug from the platform that prevented advertisers from gaining necessary access to sensitive details about the entire user base. A valuable option in Twitter’s privacy settings called “Share your data with trusted affiliates” once enabled trust between consumers and good-natured cookie salesmen. Now, that […]

Blizzard Entertainment shoots Hong Kong protester at point-blank range

From the churning maw of Lebal Drocer, comes INTERNET CHRONICLE REAL NEWS TRUTH DESK WHAT THE LAMESTREAM MEDIA DOESN’T WANT YOU TO KNOW News of the World! MURDOCH FAMILY ENSLAVES CHEETAHS TO PUBLISH TRUTH FASTER NEWS OF THE INTERNET wow! very truthful and honest CHRONICLE.SU–PREMIERE CHAT NETWORK MADE AVAILABLE TO PUBLIC AT LARGE. IT’S PUBLIC […]