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New York — Just when you thought there was nothing worse than a “male feminist,” some ineffectual men – who failed to score any pussy that way – are now taking up arms across every social media platform, becoming “allies” to the Black Lives Matter movement.

Traditionally, male feminists were easy to spot by their shirts, smart glasses, and stupid haircuts, meticulously styled with planned messiness.

Now indistinguishable from Greenpoint baristas, they are wearing all black and showing up to protest police brutality, in the national fight for justice and equality. A referee, consulting the rulebook, announces there’s nothing in here that says a man can’t serve his community by serving himself.

Terry McMillan, a 35-year-old bartender in Williamsburg, said it is high time he stepped in and used his white privilege to “throw the blacks a bone.”

“I hate racism, you know? I’m not racist, so I need to get out there and show it,” McMillan said. “I’ve been stuck inside my house for three months, and there are underserved people in my community who need my white validation now, more than ever. If I stay inside through this, I’m not helping anybody see me.”

White male feminist, and BLM ally Matt Charles recently transitioned to full black justice, and has been reading literature distributed by the New Black Panther Party, which he finds “very interesting.”

“These Hank Moody blacks are more than just a fashion statement,” said Charles, from McCarren Park in Brooklyn. “This dark Izod button-down is my uniform. My identity.”

Charles appeared near the back of the crowd on a bike path, with former feminist-ally-turned-antifa Melissa Stanley, where they were shooting on a Canon Rebel EOS T6i.

“I made sure to get lots of stunning angles of Melissa resting against her bike in various revolutionary poses,” he said. “Just seeing her grinning face at a protest for equality is going to make one hell of an impact on her Instagram followers.”

Stanley, who calls herself a news junky, held up her iPhone 11 Pro, pointing to the CNN app. She said she does not condone violence, offensive language, or the destruction of property or monuments. She looked fantastic in a smart V-neck and canvas pants.

“I just want our black brothers and sisters, when they see me, to know I’m one of the good ones. I’m an ally!”

This message is brought to you by Lebal Drocer, Inc.
Selling racial recognition technology to the police since before they were asking for it. Be sure to check out Melissa’s onlyfans.

Published by hatesec

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13 Comments

  1. Why the fuck is that cunt, Mel ‘the oven dodger’ Gibson’s name tending on Twitter and not mine?!?!?!

  2. MN looking for more blacks to beat down blacks

    Yo m8, ‘it’s Blacks ‘lookin’ for moor Blacks to beat down moar Blacks’.

    Check yer UPDATED AP Style Guide fgt.

    NEXT ON H8 RADIO, the Chronicles very own Male chauvinists HateseX & Wild ‘Bill’ Kilgoar discuss WikiLeaks Asshole Founder Charged in Superseding Indictment With New Allegations Asserting Asshole Assange Conspired With “Anonymous” Affiliated Hackers, Among Others

      1. please tattoo, without gorgeous barry boneheads like you wouldn’t know shit bout no palantir n no nothing.
        whats wrong with you? askin the twitter hipster scum to giv ya corona n hiv n stds n wut not. get a grip on yourself! and i dont mean the excessive acts of self-grativikation you practicing since the beginning of the quaranten.
        in turbulent times like these there is plenty of oportunetie for an imaginative person to die. try a minstrel show for the blm crowd, “ol bama in pyjama”, youll see. or suicide by cop, if you like it more traditional. im amased that you r still alive. im shure you, being a pariah in new york n shit, will die in phase one, as i prophesied last year. now, in the last election, the start of phase two, camacho runs for president. you tell everyone you are a satirist. maybe write some for a change. that shit writes itself, if you werent such a whiny little bitch.
        yes, yes, all the sand in you vach n shit, but i dont get paid for my friendship.

        1. TL;DR
          ‘cops are a racist hate group and domestic terrorists. pigs kill 1,000 times more Americans than ISIS, and we pay them to kill us’
          nice little hate radio topic and where in the world is Barry Brown aka his deadpool (or is that death pool) update.

  3. ‘Hall said he asked Northam twice, “Who in Virginia would want to be a police officer right now?”

    He said Northam remained silent.’

    WHO THE FUCK WANTS TO BE A BLACK PERSON IN ‘MERIKKKA RIGHT NOW, YE FUCKIN’ CUNT!

  4. In other twitter drama … the irrelevant are at it again

    J (Josè) vs. L (Louise Munchkip)

    Jose Barrientos LARPer script kiddie account got totally owned by the Onion and I was just rubbing sand in the wound.
    @th3j35t3r
    was last this amusing when he claimed to be “a Ranger” LOL . It’s something of an in joke. Sorry x

    Old ppl mang, AND I’d infect them all w/ corona-chan too

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