TRIMMING ALL YOUR CHRISTMAS TREE’S LOOSE ENDS: The Spy Tech Polonium Neutralization Set™

LANGLEY, VA. — Little bras and bra-lets are, like, psyched about the birth of the little God dude. In response Lebal Drocer and Tyco corporate representatives are proud to announce the 20th anniversary of Spy Tech toys with the addition of the Polonium Neutralization Set™, perfect for trimming all the loose ends on your Christmas tree.

This set’s got everything little bras need to take care of all that flim-flab and jibba-jabba very potentially flowing from the mouths of the opposition. An eight-year-old Spy Tech focus group tester, speaking at a press conference outside of CIA headquarters, said, “That’s one thing I hate! All the noise, noise, noise, noise!”

The neutralization set is really quite simple. The first step is, bras take the polonium rock (included) produced in a reactor at the Mattel Factory in Foshan, China. They then take the rock file and get some shavings off of that beast. The best part is even little hands can manage the file. All you need is a grain-of-sand-sized particle of that polonium-210 and you’ve got some major “SSHHHH” . . . major “SSHHH” power.

Best of all, little spy bras and bra-lets can enjoy all of the greed and incompetence that define the world of modern espionage without any personal risk. The Spy Tech 20th anniversary Polonium Neutralization Set™ acts slowly, leaving the time of spiking — and maybe even its very happening — in total question, bro.

The Spy Tech 20th anniversary Polonium Neutralization Set™, from Mattel. Then you can just slip away. Pick up yours today with just a couple of bitcoins through Lebal Drocer, the only authorized reseller.