Anonymous and ISIS cyberwar attacks ravage Internet

CYBERWAR — Freedom Fighters from the Anonymous hacker collective have continued their cyberwar in Operation Charlie Hebdo and claim to have doxed thousands of Islamists hiding in Europe and the US. Meanwhile, CyberJihadists from ISIS hacked the United States Central Command and tweeted America’s imminent invasion plans for both China and North Korea.

Veteran Anonymous hacker Commander X told reporters, “It’s amazing that the Internet is still even holding together, if even by a thread. I have never seen cyberwar on this scale — it’s the digital equivalent of the D-Day invasion of Normandy out here. We are working around the clock to dox every last sleeper cell from Al Qaeda to ISIS, even though it might seem impossible. The thousands of dox we already have in our possession cannot be made public, and we are considering hiring bitcoin hitmen as well as some other alternatives to reporting terrorists to the fascist US government. But Anonymous and freedom will prevail, and Charlie Hebdo will be avenged.”