NEW YORK — “He is an abomination to our country,” Melissa Jawfreys posted to Facebook, misgendering Lady Liberty as a sign of hate and disrespect towards all trans people everywhere.
Jawfreys, a devoted Christian, believes that the Statue of Liberty in New York Harbor should be torn down.
“That despicable wokist statue is not only an unchristian pagan idol but also a transexual bathroom-invader menacing every child in America,” she raged. “That’s why we’re suing to have this statue of wokism and sin torn down.” Thousands of facebookers liked this post, with Jawfreys gaining over 200,000 new facebook friends in just the past twelve hours.
Jawfreys is the chair of Christianity for Christians, a legal group that describes itself on its website as “. . . the number one advocate for the religious freedom of Christian Americans.” Internet Chronicle has confirmed that Christianity for Christians has indeed filed suit against the United States Federal Government, claiming that the “pagan” statue violates separation of church and state. Christians for Christianity reported one anonymous donor has already contributed over a billion dollars to the cause.
Many Libertarian men wrote support for Jawfrey’s viral post on Facebook, citing economic concerns, “Government has no place putting out statues all over the place,” Gerald Cockburn wrote. “Think of all the money we’re wasting all the time on bells and whistles like that when in reality we should be melting down what little we have left and making the best of it.”
Dan Leegan agreed, “If we were to make some actual copper pennies out of that statue, if people could feel that weight of real pure copper in their hands, I bet that would slow down this Bidenflation real quick.”
In spite of the overwhelming positive reception to the idea, some Conservative Christians still do not agree that the project of entirely tearing down the statue is worth the money.
Benny Marcoli of Alameda Texas wrote, “The copper isn’t that valuable, and tearing it down is going to cost more money than it’s ever worth. Maybe we should just replace the copper with a more suitable and traditional looking woman, or possibly Jesus, but this time make it out of fiberglass. It will cut down big time on costs.”
Jawfrey concluded the discussion victorious, “While both sides of the controversy have made very good points, there’s one thing we all agree on. The Statue of Wokist Liberty, as it stands, must go.”