Conservatives on facebook reveal new, more inclusive “Thin Blue Line” flag

INTERNET — When the first “Thin Blue Line” flag was hoisted above communities torn apart in the wake of Black Lives Matter, hardware stores across middle America struggled to keep a supply of Old Glory’s new, politicized color scheme. Now, Conservative facebook groups are struggling to keep up with an ever-growing list of lives who matter most to patriots.

At first, the blue line was enough. It was well over three years before the memory of the firefighters who died on 9/11 led conservatives to include a red line.

“That was when we crossed the Rubicon into wokeness,” Charles Dade of Middlesburg, Ohio posted. “Why can’t I just fly a simple flag to support the police? Now everyone’s gotta get in on it.”

It was only one week after the addition of the red line that a green line was added to memorialize all the soldiers who have died to protect this proud country.

But that wasn’t enough to encompass the living sacrifices made by service members, sometimes meeting fates worse than death. So to signify for wounded warriors, the purple stripe was added.

Almost instantly after the pink stripe was adopted to memorialize the millions of babies that are aborted each year, controversy erupted all over facebook.

“We’re probably aborting thousands of future police officers, fire fighters, and soldiers every day, just out of a sinful lust for more and more fornication,” said Cindy Laudon of Arlington, Virginia.

However, other conservatives remarked that the pink stripe truly crossed into new and off-limits territory. “Aborted babies did not serve their country. I think abortion is wrong, but their lives do not matter enough to make it onto the flag,” said Charles Dade. “They did not serve their country.”

Finally, a yellow line was added to include intelligence agents and spies who have died serving our country by acting as our ears and eyes at home as well as overseas. Conspiracy communities reacted most strongly to the yellow line, seeing it as a blatant mockery that shows the entire flag to be nothing but manipulation.

Chris Jermaine posted angrily on reddit, saying, “Step by step they took our macho patriotism and twisted it into a feminine woke rainbow nightmare, and this CIA stripe is the proof, the final nail in the coffin for freedom in America. I’m burning my thin blue line flag TONIGHT!”