MOSCOW — Edward Snowden’s body has been discovered, dead, after an explosion at the Ecuadorian embassy in Moscow on Sunday. Witnesses claim they saw a missile streak into the Ecuadorian embassy after sightings of a small, buzzing, airborne vehicle. Several of Snowden’s supporters outside the embassy were wounded by debris, and at least twelve ambassadors were also killed in the attack. The numbers are expected to rise as more accurate reports come in.
Government officials around the world have begun the first stages of a military alliance against American imperialism, and several long-time American allies have condemned the U.S. for violating the sacred status of diplomacy. President Obama held a press conference, saying, “This was not an American drone. None of our drones have the capability to strike at the heart of Moscow, and besides, we have safeguards to prevent this kind of thing from happening.”