Rihanna Illuminati imagery sparks controversy

INTERNET — The April and Wayne Show has revealed the true meaning behind Rihanna’s hit pop song Diamonds, which draws heavily on biblical imagery and is indicating the path to Buddha-Consciousness with the lyrics like, “Shine bright like a diamond,” and “I knew that we would become one right away.” April and Wayne have strained to translate this Rihanna song into eastern religion because, it seems, more and more young people are becoming Buddhists and leaving their churches behind. Rihanna is only invoked to reach out to a young audience of YouTubers who accidentally click on the video hoping for music, but what they find is creepy bass strings interposed with Rihanna’s pop backing a fast-pace authoritarian voice rattling off proof that Buddha-Consciousness is, in fact, Lucifer-Consciousness. “Meditation is also emptying your mind,” and according to the video, “When you open your mind you allow demons to take over.”

Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador Rinpochet, a living reincarnation of the Padmasambhava, said, “This video did not offend me at all, and if people are afraid of demons then they probably should not meditate.”

Continued interaction with aspiring hip-hop talent on Twitter reveals two camps: Pro-Illuminati and Anti-Illuminati. In hip-hop mythology the Illuminati not only control the levers of global power, but also and most importantly manage the rise and fall of famous artists. The Anti-Illuminati seem to espouse a wider range of viewpoints than the Pro-Illuminati, whose tweets are often mystical and heavily influenced by eastern spiritual traditions. One Pro-Illuminati rapper known as Jevohan D. Barnes posted a video of an ecstatic peak experience which was triggered by sight of a near hashtag formed by chemtrails a day after a much better “tic tac toe.” Anti-Illuminati artists, on the other hand, are as often xenophobic as transcendent, but it is among this camp where the most expressive social criticism and self-reliant gangsterisms are to be found in the vein of rap legend Tupac’s “Killuminati” and “Makaveli” albums.