[pullquote]”u jela?” ~ Jake Davis[/pullquote]On Sunday authorities revealed that Jake Davis, known to millions as the troll-happy spokesperson of Lulzsec, hails from the Isle of Yell. Etymologists believe ‘Yell’ may have derived its name from the Proto-Norse word ‘Jela’, which is the stock response given to any non-natives of the island.
There are many rich legends of Trolls on the Island of Yell, which date back centuries. In the 1880’s, local lore holds that a shipwrecked sailor of the seven proxseas used a saw to kill the Troll of Windhouse. Bright green grass marks the place where the Troll died. Some say that the spirit of Trolling still haunts the isolated teenagers of Yell.
Left with little else to pass the time, Jake Davis was apparently quite fond of online chess. Davis, obviously quite intelligent, assessed the butthurt of those who were jelly with the aid of a perfectly designed assessment form.
Nearly 900 people live on the barren island of Yell, so Davis may find the social interaction of prison life quite stimulating. Faced with no other way off of Yell, Davis may have only disengenously supported the cause of LulzSec for the chance to get somewhere warm and populated with soil that will support the growth of plants larger than shrubberies.