Internet Chronicle

Ukraine — Ukrainian government officials confirmed a nuclear blast was detected in Ukraine Sunday. No other news is coming out of the area.

Three videos just uploaded show the small nuclear blast below. Nothing more is known at this time, including who launched the weapon or against which target.

The materials appear to have originated from the war-torn region of Ukraine, where separatists are attempting to return control of the former Soviet nation to Russia.

The attack comes after Britain’s defense minister voiced concerns Russia may have “lowered the threshold” for using nuclear weapons.

In their criticisms, Britain warned Russia’s nuclear strategy was being integrated with conventional forces in “a rather threatening way.”

Russia’s new military doctrine reserves the right to use nuclear weapons in a conventional attack that endangers the state’s existence, but some in the military were reportedly calling for a “first strike option.”

http://youtu.be/ZuQ5EPnSE_4

VACCINATION — Pro-freedom activist and parenting expert Jenny McCarthy fell sick Friday from an acute infection of Measles and died suddenly in her Hollywood apartment at age 42, refusing all medical care. McCarthy told family members, “I’d rather die than be jabbed with that autism juice,” just hours before the Measles infection spread to her brain and caused fatal encephalitis.

McCarthy and other “Anti-vaxxers” blame the heavy metals used in vaccinations for autism, a disease which affects billions around the globe, including Vladimir Putin, who suffers from a mild form of autism known as Asperger’s that was brought on by a Measles vaccination. The few non-autistic families who choose to avoid vaccinations are some of the very last humans to maintain a natural relationship with their bodies and the earth, and see the disease as a rite of passage to a life of freedom and struggle towards glory. Hacker and actual neo-Nazi Andrew Aurnheimer, also known as weev, told reporters, “Almost nobody dies from measles, but when you survive you’re increasing your capability to survive and accelerating evolution. Vaccines and other unnatural meddling with freedom is part of the Jewish agenda to degenerate The West and undo evolution so that communist China will become supreme ruler of the world.”

By Mark Ames, Glenn Greenwald, Laura Poitras, and R. Crumb — Satire is dead. Practically no one will pay for it and no writer is even capable of delivering a satiric effect to American audiences. Trust me, I tried. It’s a losing investment every time.

There are always handholds in popular American satire, if you can call it satire, and the vicious confrontational stuff without handholds is only seen as pure malice and dickishness. Satire writers are forced into this corner by horizontal censorship, largely enforced by the internet hacking collective Anonymous.

I remember when The Hippie Movement and Punk Rock died like it was yesterday, but I never imagined satire was just another passing fad. It feels good to be that final generation of satire, the cynical nostalgia I’m feeling is quite pleasant. I’m proud of it. Like Hunter S. Thompson said, this is a generation of swine, and they won’t know a good satire when they see it. 9/11 scared the last drop of piss out of them.

The Internet Chronicle was originally revealed to be a satire by Paul Joseph Watson of Infowars, shocking hundreds of thousands of confused readers. But last summer Fox News announced, in conjunction with the FBI, that Sabu infiltrated and social engineered Infowars reporters and influenced them in subtle ways. They were mind-controlled into telling audiences that Chronicle.su is fake.

Newly hacked documents from HBGary reveal that the so-called “Metal Gear” propaganda superweapon spammed any posters of links to Chronicle.su with disruptive comments, condemning the satire as “fake” and not in correspondence with truth as established by Wikipedia and its de facto Objectivist Czar, Jimmy Wales.

We had a good run while it lasted.