axisflip cryptofinancial

Categories
Health Status Quo

Power And Success: A Tale Of Unchecked Cis Privilege

manI wake up late in the morning to the sound of my 10/10 Asian girlfriend, who’s crying because while I was asleep I wasn’t having sex with her.

Then, responding to what sounds and feels to them like rape, the neighbors call police to my multimillion-dollar mansion.

The police however can not reach my driveway because their senses alert them to a powerful pheromone cloud. The men instead park the cruiser one mile away and engage in mutual masturbation, weeping openly as they try to imagine the impossible glory of what I must be doing.

After impregnating my girlfriend for the 24th time in two weeks, I leave her money for cab fare and dismiss her from my presence.

I am cis-alpha so I do not address the zygote factory by name. I instead communicate through a series of powerful grunting orgasms until she can no longer bear another pattern of instant repeated childbirth. She leaves to begin preparing my dinner, which takes a full eight hours of back-breaking manual labor.

I signify my intention to earn more capital by forming an erection so intense that my heartbeat compels a closet-mistress to emerge from behind a screen and dress me in brown slacks, aged leather penny-loafers and a denim collared shirt. But because of the complexly masculine act of tying a tie, I must commit a small effort to achieve my own double-windsor knot.

I usually smoke a cigar as I ride my Anniversary Edition Harley-Davidson Fatboy with solid-body front and back wheels to work. Because the protective visor would only get in the way, I do not wear a helmet and I never fall down. And although I wear sunglasses, I stare directly into the sun as a daily exercise of will.

Typically at intersections, I tell women to get off the bike, because I don’t know where they came from and there is hardly time enough for multiple orgasms between there and work. I offer them a chance to breathe my potent musk before my powerful exhaust pipes blow hot oppressive air into their vaginas. And like that, I am gone before they even realize they’re pregnant.

Power-foreclosing on homes all day works up in me an aggressive appetite for meat, so I stop at a steakhouse on the way home from work for whiskey and steer. With my 100% angus burger, I drink an entire bottle of Jameson’s before deciding I may never catch a buzz, so I go home and eat a steak dinner off of my naked girlfriends’ bodies.

Quivering and crying at the sight of my mastecating lantern jaw, the girls orgasm with every bite of cow I take. I ignore their impulses and focus instead on rare video footage of atomic bomb explosions. The girls writhe in some indescribable orgasmic xanadu, powerless to the masculinity of gnawing of flesh. The tsunamic tide of vaginal juices wrecks my home and gives them something to clean up while I rape-fuck the other one into a coma. On my human bed, I close my eyes and dream of the patriarchy.

axisflip cryptofinancial

Categories
News

Secret contact with intelligent extraterrestrials proven by leak, says Julian Assange

Wikileaks reveals Skylab encountered aliens
Wikileaks reveals Skylab encountered aliens

INTERNET — Julian Assange came forward with documents hacked from the CIA cloud database which prove “beyond a shadow of a doubt” that extraterrestrials have been in contact with the CIA since 1973, when one of their ships appeared outside Skylab.

During launch, Skylab’s solar array was damaged as an aluminum heat shield was torn away. Because of under powered air conditioning and the lack of a heat shield, the faulty space station nearly cooked three astronauts alive. The aliens communicated using English, and aided the crew in deploying the damaged solar panel.

Astronaut Pete Conrad was quoted in the documents saying, “We were about to cook ourselves alive in there when that merciful ship parked itself in front of the sun. Such relief, I can hardly find words.”

During a spacewalk to repair the ship, Conrad also claimed to have been aided by the extraterrestrials, saying in one account, “When the solar panel opened, it really jumped open. I was catapulted hundreds of feet from the ship and knew I was a dead man. But I owe the aliens my life. They brought me back to Skylab.”

The CIA seized NASA’s control room and forced the astronauts to berate the aliens about their intentions. Conrad said, “When they wanted me to offer a possible alliance in all-out-war against Soviet Russia, that was where I drew the line. If I’d gone along with it, we may have had a different world.”

axisflip cryptofinancial

Categories
News

Algorithm Jamming and the "future" of art

There’s little doubt about it — except in this article’s fake linkbait title — algorithm jamming is the present stage of the world’s most popularly viewed “art.”

An inhumanly vast body of algorithmically generated nonsense exists and exposes you to advertisers, an entertainment industry completely devoid of any entertainment but the shred that exists in the charged moments right before you click the linkbait and find substanceless infuriating gibberish.

Young women have deployed closeup shots of their décolletage to algorithm jam the video game part of YouTube, a haunt of hormonal teenage boys. This provided an impressive income for several young women, but earned them few fans. Outcry from the boys was so overwhelming, YouTube officials “improved” the algorithm, effectively ending these women’s new careers.

Algorithm jammers sometimes take a sick pleasure in building labyrinths of desired objects debased into infuriating meaninglessness, an act born of and giving birth to hate. The genuine container deceptively labeled with a desired object conjured by the algorithm jammer is filled with this hate and mass distributed.


There are thousands of “tributes” to jokes like this video. The audio track drops a crucial hint, “Money for nothing / Chicks for free”

Imitation food reviews of imitation food play through a never ending carnival of “novelty” products as intransitive as Burger King’s burger with fries inside the burger. Enormous images of food and faces eating food fill the frame. A string of automobiles powered by fat men eating burgers, riding in the wake of each fast food advertising campaign bobs by carelessly and is caught in the crest of an algorithm. Dare he take the wheel, and preach about the great future promised by Anonymous? Dare he fill his gut with words of bloody revolution, punk rock, and anarchy? Will he be wise enough to continue to label it Review of McDonald’s new Triple Big Mac?