EPOXY FUMES — Earlier Friday Evening, Nobody believed Miley could have sexed Psy and Bieber who gave her cancer. Then she died, and the results were released to the Internet forever.

Sex gives them the cancer. Now Miley has the cancer and she will die. Hannah Montana is dead from cancer. This is because she had sex with Psy. Justin Bieber Died from Sex with Selena ‘Cancer’ Gomez. She had sex with Psy. He had sex with Bieber.

Hannah Montana ALWAYS Hated Miley Cyrus. “That pretentious little stuck up bitch!” she once said while the cameras were still rolling. It is a viral video on youtube. If you can’t find it, that’s only because they enforced their hegemonic copyright corporation machine.

And then all the little children started rattling off insane references to Baudrillard and Foucault. “The panopticon!” they screamed, whenever their parents tried to take their pictures. “Get that simulacra machine away from us, you conniving hegemons!” Kids.

The first graders started crying loudly of the fallacy of authority, as the exasperated teacher conspired with the weaklings among them forcing a hypnotic nap session. She bought them off with ice cream and hugs. Democracy is the enemy.

de-jected headlines

Kanye West was a Gold Digger.

Diesel prices are bottoming out.

Driners, Dive-in and Drives with Gay Fairy

Soviet Union Domain Lobbyists Ask Chronicle For Public Support

Why are “they” still maintaining Soviet Union Domains?

Will the Soviet Union Rise Again?

Can’t be afraid of no cheese. More Cheese the Better.
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Fuck you.

LANGLEY, VA. — CIA bigwig David Petraeus admitted to an extramarital affair with biography-mistress Paula Broadwell, who is now under FBI investigation for snooping through his emails. Internal documents obtained from the FBI and the Office of Senator David Vitter (R-LA) reveal that “Mrs.” Broadwell was likely employed by the notorious “D.C. Madam,” who “hung herself” in suspicious circumstances.

“Clearly,” said the embittered ex-general, who spearheaded a collaboration with Moqtada al-Sadr, “she connived her way into my pants to destroy the good name of the U.S. Central Intelligence Agency.”

“Broadwell,” which is the biographer’s racy nom de plume, is an outspoken advocate for soldiers suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome (PTSD). “There is a 30 percent increase in sex crimes among those affected by this epidemic,” “Mrs.” “Broadwell” “told” “reporters” “this summer.”

Faced with the fact that the CIA director was himself the victim of an elaborate media honeypot operation, Mr. Petraeus opined that “Mrs.” Broadwell’s body was “the ultimate weapons system–a Mayeresque wonderland.” Indeed senior Defense Department sources have confirmed to Business Insider that “Mrs.” “Broadwell” “got her claws . . . into him.”

HOLLY PETRAEUS: “I have cervical cancer.”

The general’s announcement of his resignation comes amid a time of great turmoil for his family, as his wife and veteran advocate Holly Petraeus announced her October diagnosis of late-stage cervical cancer, which her oncologist, Dr. Angstrom H. Troubadour, says is linked to a case of HPV contracted in December 2011. “This time,” said Mrs. Petraeus in tears from the front stoop of her Northern Virginia home, “David has really invaded the wrong gulf.”

“Holly has been looking at that yellow wallpaper too long and is in hysterics. How can you get HPV and be in a late-stage cancer less than a year later? What the fuck? What ‘weapons system’ did that to my wife?” asked a desperately prevaricating Mr. Petraus to a crowd of leering network journalists.

“I was just spending so much time with the troops and their families,” added Mrs. Petraeus. “I think he got suspicious, jealous.”

“The most common way of contracting HPV is from unprotected sex,” said Defense Secretary Leon Panetta, rumored to be on his way out at the conclusion of the first Obama term, adding, “So who did she get it from? The troops and their families? From Mrs. Broadwell via her husband?” The Freedom of Information Act may prevent the truth from coming out for as long as 50 years.

MoveOn.org, who in 2007 ran an anti-American ad questioning the decision to maintain a heavy troop presence to defend freedom by occupying Iraq, says that it now plans to insult the patriotic former CIA director, kicking him while he is down.

• IT’S ALREADY OVER!
• THEY’RE PAYING FOR VOTES!
• THEY CHEATED THE CONSTITUTION!

VERY LATE TERM ABORTION IS NOW LEGAL.

KILL YOUR CHILD LEGALLY–UP TO THE AGE OF 4!

IT’S ALREADY LEGAL!

• CASEY ANTHONY

YOU CAN THANK THE BABYKILLING MESSIAH-COMMUNIST! SURELY, CERTAINLY, UNDENIABLY HE IS DEFINITELY THE ONE FORETOLD BY REVELATIONS. THE ANTI-ONE.

WE WERE SURROUNDED BY THE REPUBLICANS.

• JEEP HAS MOVED ITS JOBS AWAY IMMEDIATELY
• OBAMA IS BAD FOR BUSINESS
• GUANTANAMO IS A PARADISE
• SHARIA LAW IS CREEPING

HOW ON EARTH CAN A FAKE  CITIZEN BE PRESIDENT FOR 8 YEARS?

“Obama forged his documents and refused donating five million of my dollars to charity through his neglect to release invasive personal documents. Do not trust this man, he is a Manchurian Candidate installed by Soviets. The bastards are trying to put me out of business!” said Donald Trump while the microphone was still on during a speech Tuesday evening. He was red-faced and his comb-over fell all apart.

WE SPOKE WITH ROMNEY

“GOD BLESS AMERICA? GOD DAMN AMERICA! WE’RE DAMNED!

WESTBORO BAPTIST HAS PICKETED THEMSELVES FOR BEING FAGGOTS.

THE HIPPIE SONS OF BITCHES IN COLORADO AND WASHINGTON CAN NOW SMOKE MARIJUANA LEGALLY. GET OUT OF THERE WHILE YOU STILL CAN. THEY’RE ALL STONED! STONED!

WE’VE GOT A HOMOSEXUAL ARMY.

THE CHEMTRAILS ARE TURNING US HOMOSEXUAL.

THAT IS HOW POPULATION CONTROL WORKS

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS!

WHY CAN’T YOU ALL JUST VOTE FOR RON FUCKING PAUL?

THEY LEGALIZED MARIJUANA ANYWAY.

TRICKLE DOWN GOVERNMENT DOESN’T WORK.

AND THE TROLLS, OH THE TROLLS! THEY MADE THAT GIRL SUICIDE WITH THEIR ALTERNATE REALITY GAMING!

• SHE STRUCK BACK WITH THE MEME
• NOW SHE’S A HERO

COUNTRY RUINED