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Hate Reviews

chronicle.su SUCKS and is gay

CHRONICLE.SU HATER
Local teen Lee Dominic has hated chronicle.SU since the very beginning

The Chronicle website is stupid and wrong about everything. Why do people read this shit? It is the lamest ever.

Here, the “satire” around anonymous has grown increasingly satirical in nature, which is not funny.

And the ads are just pointless, they don’t even make any money! An advertisement for Grady Warren? That guy will never win! And what’s with all the joking? These are serious topics, people.

I am NOT butthurt, because I was one of the FIRST to hate the website. Chronicle.SU is fail and AIDS. anons who just showed up out of nowhere and started hating the chornicel are a bunch of summerfags

I don’t think abortion is funny anymore and I especially don’t think Pseudonymus’ article about God was factually accurate. It might even be illegal. Low blow assholes, God is dead and He can’t be here to defend himself anymore from slander.

I hope this site gets DDoS by Ryan Queery and Assoc.

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News

Tupac Lives! Biggie Lives! Osama Lives! Alrart Lives!

CHRISTCHURCH-News sources reported that LulzBoat has defaced PBS. This act was intended to mock PBS and plug their own Twitter feed. PBS has faced the loss of public funding and may now be referred to simply as BS.

A piece of fiction claiming Tupac is alive and well was placed on PBS in an attempt by “LulzSec” to outdo the Chronicle at spamming satire to large audiences. The piece is quoted here in its entirety:

“Prominent rapper Tupac has been found alive and well in a small resort in New Zealand, locals report. The small town – unnamed due to security risks – allegedly housed Tupac and Biggie Smalls (another rapper) for several years. One local, David File, recently passed away, leaving evidence and reports of Tupac’s visit in a diary, which he requested be shipped to his family in the United States.”

The unnamed town in this story is Christchurch, which was recently shaken by a deadly earthquake. Along with Biggie and Tupac, Osama Bin Laden was recently seen in Christchurch, planning false flag attacks even while retired.

Alrart.net will never die

Chronicle reporters have received testimony from our contacts in Christchurch that Biggie, Tupac, and Osama have stepped through the first Rowntree Free-Energy Stargate, invented by Alistair Rowntree, who passed through late last year into the great unknown. With him went Alrart.net, of which little is left except a small command post created with the aid of Lebal Drocer’s Elf Wax Times. Our sources have been working night and day to restore Alrart.net to its former glory.

While the startling homage to Chronicle.SU from LulzBoat is quite welcome, our writers have suggested spamming more subversive and well-written material in the future. The world is left to wonder: is LulzBoat really Anonymous? Will Alrart, Biggie, Tupac, or Osama ever return? Stay tuned in to Chronicle.SU!

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Categories
Hate новости

Hunter S Thompson: Still Alive!

HST
Not dead!

Stoned, drunk and with both hands on the grips of a full-throttled hog, Thompson leaned into the long wind of a Pacific Ocean straightaway doing 100 miles per hour. Knowing the next invisible divot in the asphalt could be his last, he held on tighter, accelerating to speeds he would never know, too careful to take his eyes off the road.

He was determined to live, or die trying.

Somewhere in the backwoods of America, Hunter S. Thompson is riding with the Hell’s Angels, wearing a gigantic .50 caliber revolver openly, and making smart-ass remarks to simple-minded townspeople. I know this because I have seen it with my own eyes. I talked to him. He told me he wanted to be the first celebrity to actually fake his own death.

“The news’ll write anything,” he said, shifting a cigarette around in his teeth. “Those fucking savages ran the story before anybody had a chance to call the cops. YOU DIRTY ANIMALS.”

I can’t say for sure if HST was the first famous person to fake his own death, but he’s definitely the last.

In 1965, members of the Hell’s Angels beat Hunter savagely for material found in his book Hell’s Angels. After all these years, he has finally decided to pay them back for their share of his writing. Thompson says each year, he and his motorcycle gang, of which he has become the “zombie” leader, drive by the Aspen Sheriff’s headquarters and take several rides around the block.

I know this because I met him. He had the shooting glasses and the cigarette, and was entirely out of his mind on Amyls. There was no way it couldn’t have been him.

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