Law Technology

Richard Stallman Arrested for Criminal Negligence

INTERNET—After the notorious “shellshock” bug was found, embedded irresponsibly in millions of computers by Richard Stallman of the free and open source GNU platform, Stallman was charged with criminal negligence and may face over 50 million years in jail when convicted of all five million counts.

Critics believe that Stallman went far beyond negligence and actually inserted the bug purposefully, in order to diminish American computer security.

Bill O’Reilly, of the O’Reilly factor, said:

“This Stallman nerd filled his software with holes and said he made it for free. Obviously there’s more to this crime than investigators know, but could it be that one computer nerd has been siphoning trillions of dollars out of our economy and into the hands of enemies and terrorists for decades? Just how is it that Japan has had smartphones and wireless technology capable of streaming full HD since the early 90’s? I blame Richard Stallman.”

Stallman is being held in solitary confinement without bail and will face trial in April of 2025.

Leave a comment (or don't)