The beach, Fla.–The NOAA (Nodworthy Organic Assholes Association) said Gulf seafood so far is “safe to eat,” adding, “it contains no less oil than your average meal from Long John Silver’s.”
According to a federal agency inspecting varying species caught on the oil fringes yesterday, everything is safe to eat. They wouldn’t lie. It’s a government agency.
According to expert scientists, fish are beginning to contaminate the Gulf of Oil, polluting and removing the crude oil from the waters by selfishly absorbing it into their bodies.
The federal government has closed off over eighty thousand square miles of fishing waters, making all fishable fish safe to eat.