![We want zee money Lebowski. We want zee money! Nice marmot](http://www.elfwax.com/wp-content/uploads/lebowski-marmot-300x168.jpg)
JUNEAU, Alaska– Governess un-elect Sarah Palin signed a bill last year (she stamped it) to make every February 2nd Marmot Day in Alaska.
Because there are no groundhogs in Alaska, Senator Linda Menard (R – Wasilla) said it “made sense” for the “ground squirrel” to become Alaska’s doppelganger to Pennsylvania’s Punxsutawney Phil.
![Change Hope](https://chronicle.su/wp-content/uploads/marmot1.jpg)
Senator Menard did not write weather forecast duties for the marmot into the bill, so the day has become Alaska’s watered down ripoff of what was already a fake, pathetic holiday to celebrate the fact that Alaska has no groundhogs. She hopes that the state will create educational activities around the animal.
Editor’s note: with the exception of our writers’ liberal use of the traditionally-forbidden editorial (good job), this story is one hundred percent true. Bill Murray was not immediately available for comment.
Here to commemorate this hilarious event is Jim Forest, beard enthusiast.